Finding Resolution
by bekka-lewellyn
Summary: Why is it so hard to pick one? One, of two perfect soul mates. When changes happen to Bella that even Carlisle can't explain, who will tell her what's going on? How will she recover when the changes have taken away everything she's always wanted? BxE
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything that has any reference to Twilight or any of the books that follow.

**Full summary: **Bella loves Edward. Edward loves Bella. But Bella also loves _him. _And he loves her back. If World War Two can be resolved, why can't this? And as if the Volturi and an impossible love triangle weren't enough, Bella suddenly finds out that the thing she wants most in the world is impossible, and that something decidedly odd is happening. Who can tell her what's going on?

**FINDING RESOLUTION**

Chapter One:

_Bella's POV_

I looked into the mirror and finally began to believe Edwards continuous protestations of my beauty. And to think, it had only taken Alice and Rosalie hundreds of dollars and five hours and thirty two minutes of torture to turn me into a radiant blushing bride. I stood by Alice's window and peeped outside, my hands twisting the small slip of paper in my hands.

When Alice had planned this wedding she had taken 'small' in the broadest possible sense. There were possibly fifty people milling around the seats waiting for myself to appear. My stomach twisted with nerves. What if I fell? Walking down the aisle….. I'd be mortified. Even Edward couldn't catch me halfway down the aisle with this many humans in view.

Edward….. my eyes drifted automatically to where he stood, impossibly beautiful. Descriptions could not do him justice. I still expected to wake at any moment, wake from the impossible dream that I could be loved by such a one. That I could spend the rest of eternity by his side.

I heard an impatient knock at the door, and reluctantly turned away from my angel to face the visitor. My hand quickly hid the small slip of paper I'd been fidgeting with. When I saw my dad enter I let my hand fall to my side. He took a long look at my appearance and nodded in his small acknowledgment.

"Are you sure?" He asked again. I looked over at Edward's tiny figure once more and nodded, letting my smile speak the words for me.

"He better treat you right." He muttered darkly. I said nothing, my hand tightening on the paper in my hand. I thought I saw Edward's head tip towards the house, as if he were listening. I smiled ruefully. Bloody nosy telepathic shit.

Finally Charlie broke a smile.

"He makes you happy doesn't he?"

"You have no idea." I murmured.

He looked over to where my gaze lay.

"I'll be by the door when you're ready." He said gruffly and left, closing the door silently behind him. I uncurled the paper and read the words I had long since memorized.

_I know you love me too._

The tiny scrap of paper had been handed to me from Billy Black is far better condition, just after Jacob disappeared. I looked over at Edward once more and tucked the paper firmly away into my bag, along with any second thoughts I may have had about the best thing that ever happened to me. I ran down the stairs and grinned at Alice. She smiled back and disappeared outside to check her masterpiece. I smiled ruefully and turned to dad.

"Lets go!" I said, taking his arm. He raised one eyebrow and we turned to the door. Alice slipped back through the side door with the easy grace of a dancer and took up her position as bridesmaid. She reached for the door, then stopped. Without warning she leapt at me and hugged me with her usual spontaneous exuberance.

"I can't believe this is finally happening!" She exclaimed, releasing me in time for me to regain my love of oxygen. An excited smile stretched her cheeks as she reached for the door once more. I took a deep breath to settle nerves that barely needed it. Alice's joy was catching. I turned to my dad, my face stretching into a smile to rival Alice's own.

"Let's go!" Charlie announced, gripping my arm and leading me to the door. We opened the door to a blissfully cloudy day – and barely one hundred metres in front of me was Edward. He wasn't the love of my life. He was the royal trump card.

About five steps toward him I realized that looking at him was a mistake. My feet found loose footing on the aisle Alice had painstakingly supervised the clearing of. I felt my white heel lose it's grip on the earth and lost my balance. Charlie's arm pulled upwards and I replaced the foot carefully on the ground, feeling heat rise in my cheeks. I looked up quickly and saw a concerned look on Edward's face, swiftly replaced by an amused smile. I shook my head silently and we made our way _slowly_ up the aisle. I stared at the ground the whole way. Only when Charlie pulled away slightly did I realize that I'd reached the end of the aisle. I kissed Charlie on the cheek and took Edward's outstretched hand, moving eagerly toward him.

"Careful there, there's still another square foot of air to trip on…." He whispered, gripping my hand tightly. I glared at him. It didn't last long. He smirked as a smile broke through the glare. I stood by his side and faced our grinning minister – Emmett.

Emmett, to his credit, managed a solemn face through the entire ceremony. Ignoring Rosalie's sighs of impatience and Alice's gestures to move it along, he insisted on the full, long winded ceremony – probably to prove that he'd memorized the entire thing. I lost most of the words, as Edward caught me with his eyes and held me immobile. My mind replayed every memory I had of him. His first glare of hatred, and his second of frustration. The many gazes thereafter of concern, of love. I imagined the possibility that I could have him forever, a possibility that was becoming more and more certain with each passing minute. Emmett's final words broke through my thoughts.

"Do you, Isobella Swan, take Edward as your lawfully- " at this he stopped.

"I swear, it is legal. I took a test and everything, you have no IDEA the effort I've gone to so you could have me do this, I – yes, Alice, moving on, lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, to honour and obey, in sickness and in health, in richness and in poor, til death do you part?"

"I do." I said, interrupting Emmett's potential to elaborate on the smirk he developed as he said 'death.'

"And do you, my -" Emmett broke off and winced. I saw Edward glaring at him.

"And do you, Edward Cullen," Emmett began again, "Take Bella as your lawfully wedded wife to – do I have to repeat this again?"

"Yes." Alice said, glaring at him.

Emmett rolled his eyes. He took and deep breath and spoke fast.

"To-have-and-to-hold, to-love-and-to-cherish, to-honour-and-obey, in-sickness-and-in-health, in-richness-and-in-poor, til-death-do-you-part?"

"I do." Edward said.

"I do now, solomnely, humbly, _lawfully_," Emmett rambled.

"Wrap it up…." Rosalie said through gritted teeth.

"-Pronounce you husband and wife."

"Finally…." Rosalie muttered.

"You may now kiss the bride."

Edward wrapped one arm around my waist and pulled me against him, using the other to lift my veil.

"Better do what the man says." I advised.

"Definitely." He agreed, and acquiesced.

Mm. Bliss.


	2. reception & confrontations

**FINDING RESOLUTION**

Chapter Two:

It wasn't until the reception that I began to notice any other person but Edward and, distantly, his family. After refusing to dance several times I began to look around. Charlie stood near a smiling Renee and Phil, his arms crossed, firmly disapproving of the entire situation. My…friends were clustered together, darting curious looks around them every few minutes. The Cullen's, possibly the only ones still comfortable, took to the dance floor. Several songs, and many polite conversations later, Emmett, Alice, Jasper and Rosalie sat down once more, barely short of breath.

"I have a small announcement to make." Alice said to our small table. I turned in surprise. Alice glared at Emmett, who was grinning broadly.

"I would just like to acknowledge that Emmett did a good job, despite expectations." She said, forcing the acknowledgement through gritted teeth. Emmett attempted to nod gracefully.

"I would like it to be known that my memory skills are surpassed by none." Emmett gloated. Edward made a noise that in a less elegant person would have been labeled a snort.

"He used post it notes." He whispered in my ear. I giggled.

"And I would also like to show you all the bruise that Edward gave me when he KICKED me during the ceremony. What sort of ill controlled maniac KICKS the MINISTER of their WEDDING?"

I raised my eyebrows at Edward, waiting for explanation. He remained silent. When the conversation turned, he lowered his head to my ear again. His breath on my neck made my skin tingle, and a flush to rise up my neck.

"When he said Edward Cullen?" He whispered, his breath sending cool air and heavenly scent across my face. "He was _going_ to say 'my sexually repressed brother.'"

I laughed, then wiggled out of Edwards arms in search of the bathroom. I slipped through Alice's impeccable decorations towards the house.

Only I could crash into anything in wide open space. I felt myself crash into a solid wall and fell backwards. Strong arms held me up and I looked up to see Jacob. Without a thought for my impeccably arranged hair and makeup, I threw myself into his arms.

"JACOB! You're here!" I yelped, hugging him tightly. I hesitated momentarily when I felt his muscles stiffen. Then he relaxed and I felt his arm wrap around my waist. Without warning I was lifted into the air and spun around in circles. I yelped loudly and clutched his shoulders for dear life. He laughed easily and set me down.

"You're too light." He complained. "Eat more! Take my example."

I had a sudden memory of eight eggs, ten rounds of bacon and a dozen or more pieces of toast that Jacob and made his way through one morning at Billy's house… and then wanted more.

"If I ate like you do, I'd have to be rolled everywhere I go, and even _you_ couldn't lift me." I laughed. He shook his head.

"Never!" He insisted, before pulling me into a tight hug again.

"What's the bet that wasn't allowed?" He said, eyes twinkling mischievously as let me touch earth again.

"Care to break the rules again?" He suggested, eyebrows raised in mild insinuation.

I snorted. Some things never changed. I shook my head silently, then stopped. His eyes were focused on my face, brow crinkled like he did when he thought hard.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"What's wrong with your eyes?" He asked harshly. I frowned. My eyes?

"Nothing…." I said, confused. "Why would my eyes…."

I drifted off. Could he possibly be thinking that some perceived difference was related to Edward changing me? Why would he bring that up now? He knew I was going to be changed soon after my wedding, he couldn't possibly be still trying to change my mind.

"There's nothing wrong with my eyes." I said coldly. Jacob's focus on my face was broken as his nose twitched, his eyes darkening. Delayed moments later I smelt Edward's heavenly scent waft from behind me. His hand rested on my back and tingles spread through my spine, a blush rising in my face.

"Hello Jacob." Edward said quietly. I shook my head silently. Heaven forbid a conversation might be private. He'd obviously eavesdropped on the entire thing. Edward and Jacob exchanged a long look and Edward shook his head.

"I haven't changed her yet." Edward said, in answer to an unspoken thought. Jacob's eyes darkened in pain at the 'yet'. My stomach twisted. Jacob's anger I could handle, and his manipulation. But I couldn't handle his pain.

"Jake, you knew this was going to happen…" I said in an attempt to soothe. Jacob sighed heavily.

"I know." He said heavily. "But knowing and knowing that the deadline is up is two completely different things."

Edward and Jacob exchanged another loaded look and I rolled my eyes.

"I'll leave you two to it." I said, pulling away from Edward reluctantly and moved towards the bathroom. He gripped my hand, stopping me for a moment. Then he let me go. I looked at them once more and walked away. Before I left I noticed a small slip of paper gripped tightly in Jacob's hand.

In the bathroom, I sat heavily on the closed lid of the toilet, resting my head in my hands. The slip of paper, I knew, had my own writing on it. At least a dozen crossed out attempts at saying what I wanted to say. And finally, scrawled across the bottom, the best I could manage.

_I know. It doesn't change anything. Sorry._

A few hours later, everybody gathered in the driveway to watch us leave. Alice had gone to town on Edwards Volvo, to the point where it had _just married _inscribed in diamonds on the boot of the car. Edward glared at her and forced a promise to restore the car to it's former condition as soon as we were home. She nodded reluctantly, clearly unhappy with parting with her hard work and effort. I hugged each of the Cullen's and moved to my family. After a difficult parting with a very emotional mother and a very awkward attempt at emotion on both Charlie's and my part, I moved towards the huge figure of Jacob, standing imposingly beside the crowd.

"I want to see you when you get back." He demanded, taking both of my hands in his. "Before…"

I nodded. He wanted to see me before I was changed. To say goodbye, or to try once more to talk me out of it. I couldn't refuse him. It was Jacob. My best friend in the world. Even if he was changed. I hugged him hard and turned to Edward, who stood behind me. He and Jacob were loading looks again. I groaned and repressed the urge to hit both of them over the heads. Neither would feel a thing.

Finally, Jacob held out his hand and they shook hands.

"I'll see you in a week." Jacob said to me, ignoring him.

"I'd say closer to two." Edward answered smoothly, taking my hand.

"It doesn't matter when." Jacob said, his tall imposing form dwarfing Edward. "I'll always be here for her. I'll never leave."

"I'm not going anywhere." Edward said, eyes narrowing.

"And if you did, I'd be here for her. To save her, to look after her." Jacob continued. I saw Edward's face twist as he caught whatever image Jacob was thinking. Possibly for revenge, Edward continued smoothly, his spine straight and face calm.

"But if I did… she'd always come back to me."

I saw Jacob's face twist in pain. I sighed heavily.

"You two done throwing those things around?" I said, pulling Edward behind me. "Let's go."

"Wait." Jacob said softly. I turned to see my Jacob looking at me, love in his eyes, nothing more. I smiled and reached for him. He pulled me into as tight a hug as ever, and I reveled in the comfort, the warmth. This had always been so effortless, easy. I didn't want to hurt him like I had.

"Goodbye." I told him, when he let me go. I followed Edward to the car, not looking back. Edward's face was smooth, controlled. We climbed into the car and drove away, waving wildly. Then I turned to face him, intending to question what he and Jacob had talked about while I was in the bathroom. Instead, I was struck again at his impossible beauty. The sun had just peeked between the clouds enough to make his skin sparkle like diamonds, his hair lighten. I instantly forgot what I'd been meaning to say. Edward caught my eye and smiled, pleased. His eyes smouldered dark gold, and I concentrated on remembering to breathe in and out again. He then reached over a hand and traced the side of my face.

I promptly forgot that I'd meant to say anything at all.

He took his smouldering eyes from mine and faced the road, replaced one hand on the steering wheel. I shook myself, returning to earth.

"What did you and Jacob talk about while I was gone?" I asked, my wits returning slowly.

"You. Me. Him." Edward summarized. I raised my eyebrows and he relented.

"I told him that you still loved him, that you missed him and wanted him in your life. He told me that you can't live without me. You've told me that enough times for me to believe it. And even if I didn't… I wouldn't leave you."

He turned to me, eyes catching mine, determined to say what he wanted to say.

"I will never leave you again." He swore. Then his voice trembled slightly. "Not unless… you ask me."

"I won't ever ask you to leave." I jumped in quickly. I didn't even want to think about him leaving, and I pushed the thought aside. Thoughts in general began to blur at the edges as Edwards eyes held mine. I pulled my gaze from his, determined to keep my wits, and my eyes fell instead on the speedo.

"SLOW DOWN!"

**AUTHORS NOTE**

That's it for today. Please review! I'd really like feedback, or even just to know if anybody is reading this. I've began the set up, but this is mostly just setting scene. Things will start happening soonish I hope. I just tend to ramble on rather a lot. REVIEW PLEASE?

**ALBATROSS!**


	3. Mr and Mrs Cullen

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything that has any reference to Twilight or any of the books that follow.

**Author's note: **

To both Mrs James Harold Potter and to UnderAgeThinker, thanks for the reviews I appreciate it! Also, I have no idea what's causing the words to stick together it looks fine when I read through it. Any ideas?

To everybody else, you have no idea how much I'd love a review or two. Or, hell why stop there? FIVE HUNDRED AND FIFTY SIX!!! That's right, I'm going to take over the world, five hundred and fifty six reviews at a time!! I MIGHT be slightly mental.

**FINDING RESOLUTION**

Chapter Three:

I'd never truly appreciated how good five star accommodation was. I mean, five star…. You assume it's going to be good. Expensive looking. A very large bed.

A good complete ten minutes after I entered the room, Edward was still smiling at my awe. The 'room' was a large house. It had two levels! It had four televisions! Who needs a television in the bathroom? The bathroom housed a spa that was bigger than the entire bathroom that Charlie and I shared. Our bags had been carried to our room for us, and all the doors opened. The car, to Edward's concern, had been valet parked, and there was a note saying that maids would arrive at eight for the turndown service.

"You know, if you don't pick up your jaw soon, you will catch flies." Edward commented mildly from where he stood, leaning against the door. I turned to look at him and automatically stepped towards him. It was as if gravity had moved to where he stood and I was simply following the normal force of nature. He smiled and pulled me into his arms.

"They called us sir and madam!" I exclaimed, my voice muffled slightly against his chest. I felt his chest move slightly as he laughed.

"What else would they call us?" He inquired. I thought for a moment.

"Bella and Edward?" I suggested. He was silent for a moment, and I pulled back just enough to meet his eyes. He was staring intently, his face was calm, as always.

"How about Mr and Mrs Cullen?" He suggested. I saw something flick across his face, then disappear too quickly for me to identify it.

"There's that." I said slowly, concentrating on his face. His face was calm for a moment, then he smiled broadly.

"You_ love_ that don't you?" I said, thumping him across the shoulder in a movement that I assumed he wouldn't even notice. I was wrong. He caught my arm and kissed my wedding ring, eyes focused on mine. I started concentrating on breathing again. I began to suspect that Edward's other arm locked tightly around my waist was the only thing holding me upright.

"Yes, I do." He breathed, his eyes turning a deep gold. Without warning he swung me up into his arms and I felt my heart skip several beats. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he carried me towards the bedroom.

He laid me down carefully on the bed and settled onto the bed beside me. I moved as inconspicuously as possible until I was pressed against his cool body. He smiled slightly, clearly not fooled.

Then he bent his head and pressed his lips to mine. Blush rose in my cheeks as I felt my pulse promptly speed up. He rolled slowly so that his body was held above mine, his hands holding his weight. Nonetheless, I felt his cool skin against mine and shivered from something that had nothing to do with the cold. In defiance to the cool of his body, mine began to heat up, bloody pumping strongly.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, hoping to prolong the time I had before he pulled away.

He didn't pull away.

I was breathing heavily when he finally rolled so I was above him and he pulled his face away slightly.

"Hello Mr Cullen." I whispered, between heavy breaths. A smile stretched across his face. He lifted his hands to cup my face. I gasped.

"Hello Mrs Cullen." He whispered back. He hesitated for a moment, then moved slowly, carefully.

And I felt his hands slip under my top.

**Author's note:**

I'm not going into any more detail than that, so don't get carried away! My actual plot plan will kick in once she's back from honeymooning etc.

And finally… please give me a review? An email? Smoke signal. A niiiiiice fruit basket?


	4. injuries & airports

**(truly original) Disclaimer:** I don't own anything that has any reference to Twilight or any of the books that follow.

**Author's note: **

_Mrs. James Harold Potter:_ Thank you! I love your reviews, you keep me inspired!! And I promise that Jacob will definitely jump into the story soon. I love him just as much as I love Edward, so they're both going to appear frequently.

_Red_ (is it?): THANK YOU! And I hope this counts as soon!

**FINDING RESOLUTION**

Chapter Four:

There is no better way to wake than by the kiss of a surpassingly beautiful vampire who loves you. I kept my eyes closed until he pulled away, sure that I must be dreaming. Maybe I had dreamt this entire week, and would wake the day before the wedding. Maybe I had dreamt Edward coming back at all. The only thing I couldn't contemplate was that I had dreamt up Edward. There was no way I was that creative. Reluctantly, I opened my eyes. They meet topaz eyes and sparkling skin. I smiled in bliss. If it was a dream, it continued still. It took several seconds for my brain to register that he was speaking.

"Sorry?" I asked, blinking slowly and sitting up, pulling my eyes free of the effective distraction on my bed. He smiled slowly, and repeated his words. His voice was no less distracting than his face.

"Our plane leaves in half an hour."

I leapt out of bed. True to form, I managed to get sheets tangled and trip myself. Edward appeared by my side before I had the chance to hit anything but air.

"Slowly? I'd prefer to keep you in one piece." He suggested mildly, releasing me when I regained my precarious balance. Blushing furiously, I walked carefully to the bathroom.

I reached the door when I realized that I'd forgotten to take clothes. I turned around to see Edward holding out a pile of clothes, a smile on his face. I made a face at him and disappeared into the bathroom with my clothes.

"Don't fall over!" He called.

"Smart arse." I muttered to myself as I turned on the water.

"I heard that!" His voice drifted through the walls.

"I'm not going to fall over." I declared at normal volume, knowing he could hear me.

I fell over.

I managed an entire shower, complete with the hazard of leg shaving, and the complete procedure of dressing. I picked up all my clothes and my bathroom bag in my arms and turned to the door. I can almost handle horizontal ground. Apparently I can't yet handle turning. I yelped as I slipped over the level, perfectly dry floor, and gravity carried me in the direction it normally did when Edward wasn't around to catch me. The clothes in my arms went flying, and my forearm landed on the side of our beautiful spa with a sickening crack. I heard the crack before I felt the pain. But the yell I made when the wave of pain hit me put my undignified squeak of before to shame. In less than a second Edward was by my side.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his voice filled with concern. I took a critical glance at my arm, well practiced with injuries.

"It's broken." I said, lightheaded.

Edward swore and lifted me bodily into his arms. I considered protesting for a grand total of not much time. Then I locked my healthy arm around him, and rested my head against his neck. If I was going to miss the plane, I might as well get the rest of my sleep in.

An hour later, we returned to the hotel room. My arm was newly decorated with a cast. Edward refused to let me do anything but sit and let him pack. He also insisted on carrying me up the stairs like an invalid, despite my continued protestations. Never mind that it was my arm, and not my leg that was broken. My legs were functioning just as capably as they ever had been, as I'd pointed out. He had replied with a vague murmur to the effect that therein laid the problem.

"Take two…" I murmured as we left the hotel once more, this time in the direction of the airport.

An age of unnecessary worry later, we met our greeting party on the other end of the line. I complained continuously when Edward hinted that we would have a welcoming party. My eyes lit up when I saw who had turned out. I turned to Edward and smiled broadly. He smiled sadly and let go of my hand. Halfway to the group's spot, Jacob met me and lifted me into a massive bear hug. I kicked my feet in protest as he lifted me off the ground, but I didn't complain. I hugged him back as hard as I could. He set me down and when he looked at me, his eyes darkened. He turned abruptly to face Edward, who had appeared by my side.

"She broke her arm?" Jacob growled.

"I'm fine Jake." I said, before my klutziness could cause an argument. Jacob ignored me and glared at Edward.

"An accident, and yes." Edward said smoothly. I rolled my eyes. Heaven forbid that he could wait until Jacob asked the question out aloud.

"I didn't actually want to know _that_." Jacob complained. I saw a smirk cross Edward's face, and then I was bowled over by an enthusiastic Alice.

"Hold still, and look away." She instructed when she let me go. Surprised, I did as I was told. By the time it occurred to me to ask why, she was done. I looked down at my arm to see a new curly signature across my cast, and numerous pictures of flowers and hearts. I looked up to glare at her to see her smiling happily and tucking coloured markers into her bag.

"May I see?" Carlisle inquired. I sighed heavily and handed over my arm. He examined it for a moment, his face calm. I saw Alice abruptly spin and glare at him. Bewilderment flashed across her face for a moment. Edward was looking at Alice in confusion. It suddenly occurred to me that marrying into this family was going to be extremely irritating at times.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing." Alice said quickly. Emmett slung an affectionate arm over my shoulder.

"Have a good honeymoon?" He asked, eyebrows raised suggestively. I punched him, lightly for the sake of my fragile bones. He saw Rosalie's glare and returned to her side, grinning apologetically at me.

I jumped in surprise when Jacob's massive form appeared next to me. He smirked.

"There's a Quileute bonfire tonight. Will you come?" He asked me. I noticed he was pointedly standing upwind of the Cullen's and rolled my eyes. I nodded eagerly. I could hear the Quileute stories again. And if I saw Jacob tonight, then I was free of my promise to see him before I was changed. Which meant that tomorrow…

"I'll come pick you up at - "

"I'll drop her off at the border at six." Edward cut in smoothly. Jacob glared at him, then nodded. He hugged me again, whispered a goodbye and moved away. I could see his tall form above the crowd a hundred metres away.

Esme appeared at the edge of the group with Edward's and my luggage. She kissed and hugged both Edward and me. Emmett hefted all of our bags and Carlisle led the way back to the car.

When we reached the door, Edward stopped me, his hand on my good wrist. I turned and raised my eyebrows.

He held out a thick parka.

I sighed heavily.

Home again.

**Author's note:**

And that's it for today!!! And I'm STILL setting up. Sorry. I tend to be longwinded. But it is a GOOD setup yes?

PLEASE review. You have no idea how much it means to me. Make my day! You don't even have to say anything useful. Send a review with random letters or lists of miscellaneous animals and inanimate objects if that's easier. But something please?


	5. conversations and revelations

**Another truly original disclaimer:** I don't own anything that has any reference to Twilight or any of the books that follow.

**Author's note: **

Da da da da HEY! WHOOP WHOOP! I just realized that there is a thingamajig under my stats that tells me how many times my story gets opened up and it says 243!!!!

THANKYOU!!!! To my reviewers. And my anonymous readers. I LOVE knowing there are people reading this.

Sorry for the quickness of the last chapter and the time between chapters… Life happened… hope this longer one makes up for it. There's another one coming very soon!

**FINDING RESOLUTION**

_Chapter Five: conversations and revelations_

Golden eyes glared at eachother from opposite sides of the room.

"Fashion show!" Alice spat.

"FOOTBALL!" Emmett growled.

Following Edward's whispered advice, I restrained any show of humour. With difficulty.

I saw a similar restraint on Edward's face. His features changed abruptly.

"Time to go." He announced. I felt his cold hand grasp mine and drag me to the door. I glanced over my shoulder just in time to see Alice's tiny figure lunge at Emmett.

I managed to hold in my mirth until we were out of vampire hearing range. As soon as I saw Edward smile, I burst out laughing.

"All that over the TV REMOTE!?!?" I managed between gasps of laughter.

"It gets worse." Edward said ruefully.

"How?"

"If Carlisle wants to watch the news as well. Or if there's a piano recital on. Television is relatively new to us, remember?"

I suddenly had a mental image of Carlisle, Edward, Alice and Emmett having a massive fight, and it didn't seem so funny any more. What if somebody got hurt? What if when I was a newborn I joined in one of those arguments? According to Edward I would be stronger than all of them. I could injure somebody without even realizing. I remembered Jacob's broken body after he had been attacked by one of Victoria's newborns. Could I crush bones like that? Without meaning to?

"Please tell me what you're thinking?" Edward said softly, interrupting my thoughts. "You're driving me insane."

I could never stay silent when his eyes caught mine. Now was no exception.

"What if I hurt somebody? Alice is so tiny… and what if I hurt you? I couldn't live with myself!"

"If you hurt someone?" I saw confusion on his face, and remembered the last time I had seen that look.

"And what did Alice see at the airport? If I'm going to be in your family forever, you need to tell me things! I'll go insane wondering what she's seen! If you're protecting me _again_ -"

"_If_ you're going to be in my family forever?" Edward cut in. His face was carefully controlled, showing no expression. I hated it when he did that. He could always read me so well, why couldn't I do the same? Why was he avoiding my questions? I wanted to know what Alice had seen. Why wouldn't he tell me?

"If I go mental wondering what you aren't telling me, I'm not really going to be a member of your family, am I? I'll end up in a mental institution and you'll never see me again." I pointed out.

"She saw you." Edward said quietly. "She saw Carlisle removing your cast."

"Why were you confused? Why was Alice angry?" I asked, continuing. There was something he wasn't telling me.

"Alice was angry because she'd just decorated your cast. I was confused because Carlisle was removing the cast because it was set wrong…. But when he checked your arm, it wasn't broken anymore."

I fell silent. That made no sense. Why wouldn't my arm be broken? It had definitely _been_ broken. It couldn't possibly have healed that fast.

"My arm… wasn't broken?" I repeated dumbly. I tried and failed to think of some way that could be possible. The only way was if Alice had the times wrong, but that was unlikely. Betting against Alice was a bad idea.

"We aren't moving." I said suddenly. I looked outside the car and saw that we were at the Quileute border. Failing to hear an explanation from Edward, I looked over to see him deep in thought.

"What are you thinking?" I asked softly.

"You love Jacob, don't you?" Edward asked, a polite question, as if asking about the weather. There was no accusation, no anger in his voice.

"I love you," I hedged. The words seemed woefully inadequate.

"You love him too." Edward answered for me. I nodded silently, turning away. I didn't want to bring this up. I had made my choice, I didn't want to hurt anyone any more. I couldn't have them both.

"Billy wanted to talk to you." Edward said, changing the subject with an unusual lack of subtlety. "I thought I'd drop you earlier so you get to the bonfire on time."

"You're going to let me walk to La Push?" I asked incredulously.

"It's a ten minute walk. It's a straight road. There's plenty of traffic to find you if you fall. There are no vampires after you to my knowledge. Sam and Quil are patrolling ten metres away," Edward listed. Then he paused.

"I have to stop being quite so protective one day." He said softly. I immediately felt ashamed. I had made him feel guilty for worrying about me! Why couldn't I get through a day without hurting somebody?

"I love you." I said quietly. He appeared by my door in one of his lightening quick movements. He helped me out of the car and pulled me into a hug. I reached up and kissed him.

Before our wedding he would have kissed back and pulled away. But he knew how far his self control could take him now. He kissed me back and pulled me closer.

I had found it difficult to breathe and impossible to think when he'd been restrained by his own boundaries.

Now I had no hope. My head spun wildly, my pulse beating hectically through my veins. My breath, when I focused on breathing, came in short pants. He let go only when he felt me shiver, stepping back slightly to reduce the cooling effect of his skin.

I pulled him back.

I wasn't shivering from cold.

Finally we pulled apart slightly, both breathing hard. Despite the fact that he didn't even need to breathe. I looked up into his eyes, searching for the golden amber that could freeze away the last of thought patterns in my brain.

His eyes were black.

"You haven't hunted!" I remembered suddenly. I stepped back slightly, worried that I was making this harder for him.

"_Now_ she thinks of that!" He muttered. "Your sense of self preservation never ceases to amaze me."

He kissed me lightly on the lips and stepped back to the car.

"Straight to Billy's." He wasn't quite able to mask the worry in his eyes.

"I promise." I said.

"Call me if you fall. Or if you get lost. And when you want me to meet you at the border."

"I will."

"I love you."

"I love you more." I said, watching him carefully.

Anybody else would think I meant that I loved him more than he loved me.

He knew that wasn't what I meant.

I waved goodbye until I couldn't see him anymore. As soon as I crossed the border, Quil strode from the woods, clothed in only shorts, and wrinkling his nose.

"By the gods, he reeks." He complained, falling into step beside me.

"Hey Quil," I said cheerfully, trying to keep up as he slowed down for me.

"Jacob's right, you know." Quil announced. "Your eyes are different."

"They are?" I asked in confusion. Why would my eyes be any different?

"They're paler. Lighter."

"Right." I said, humouring him. Quil noticed and changed the subject. He kept up light conversation banter all the way to Billy's house. Most of it was based on poking fun at my clumsiness, my broken arm and my 'bloodsucker stink.'

But I arrived at Billy's house in one piece.

Quil said hello to Billy and left, back to protect Forks from dangerous villains, as he told it. I snorted.

Billy switched off the game review he's been watching and turned to me.

"You're going to be one of them?" Billy asked, jumping straight to the point.

"Yes." I said. No point beating around the bush.

"And nothing is going to change your mind?"

"Nothing." I swore. There was no part of human life that could possibly hold me back more than Jacob. And even that hadn't succeeded.

"Well in that case…" Billy hesitated, then sighed heavily.

"You should know that the pack won't interfere."

My head snapped up.

"They won't…"

Billy shook his head.

"Jacob loves you; he won't let anyone hurt you – or anyone that it would hurt you to lose. And secondly, that part of the treaty has been broken before."

"It has?" That was news to me.

"There were only four of them when the treaty was made." Billy pointed out. Oh. They thought Carlisle had changed Jasper and Alice.

"Thanks Billy." I said, choosing not to tell him how Alice and Jasper had joined the family. I stepped side to side for a moment in the awkward silence that followed.

"I'm gonna go say hi to Jacob."

I didn't hear Billy's call as I moved to Jacob's room and opened the door.

I froze. The bed was made, the floor spotless. A thin layer of dust rested on every surface. The room hadn't been used in weeks, and certainly not by Jacob.

I turned to face Billy.

"What…?"

"He's not here." He repeated.

"Where – "

"Out bush."

"Why?"

Before he could answer, Jacob banged loudly through the door, stark naked, and strode quickly to the laundry.

"Hey dad, I'm just going to the border to get Bella!" He called cheerfully, his back to us as he pulled on a pair of shorts. "We'll be back by seven to take you to the bonfire!"

Then he froze. I heard him sniff, then watched him turn to see me.

"Bella!" He exclaimed. In three long strides, he was in front of me, pulling me into a hug that threatened breath.

"Will you ever learn?" I complained when he set me down. "I _like _to breathe!"

Jacob looked at the clock, then grasped my hand.

"You love it." He murmured, pulling me out the door. His hand was warm in mine as he led me to the beach. It was nearing sunset. We reached the beach just in time to see the suns last rays reflect off the water.

"Pretty…" I murmured as we sat on the sand. Jacob's hand still clutched mine. I should maybe have felt like I was doing something wrong…. But it was Jacob. It felt weird _not _to touch him. This basic thing couldn't be wrong.

I heard Jacob sigh heavily and glanced over. He was smiling happily.

"This is the first time in ages that I've seen you on this beach and I haven't had to worry about blo – vampires attacking you from the water." He explained. "I mean apart–" Jacob cut off quickly, glancing at me.

"There's nothing trying to kill you." He finished simply.

I shivered suddenly, thinking of the Voluri.

Jacob noticed.

"You aren't ready, are you?" He asked. His eyes lit with hope and he leapt to the explanation that he most wanted to be true. "You aren't ready to become…._that_."

"I am!"

"Then why did you shiver?" He asked, grinning triumphantly.

"It's cold, Jake." I retorted. He didn't buy that.

"I was thinking about something else." I said quietly.

Jacob was silent for a moment, processing. Then his mind leapt to the next obvious conclusion.

"Someone else is trying to kill you?" He asked incredulously. "Geez, _again?_"

He was close enough. I nodded.

"We practically exist to protect you." He said, grinning.

"A problem that will be solved once I can protect myself!" I pointed out.

"Is that why you're doing this?" Jacob asked in disbelief. "You're going to be a bloodsucker so that you're strong enough to _protect yourself?_"

"No!" I protested. I looked down at my hands.

"It's so that I can have forever."

With Edward.

The words were unspoken, just we both knew they were there.

"This sucks." Jacob complained. "I _know _you love me."

"It doesn't – "

"– change anything, I know."

We sat in silence for a while. I shivered, from the cold this time, and shifted closer to his side. Heat radiated from his skin and warmed me. My thoughts turned back to the dust layer that covered the room Jacob apparently no longer lived in.

"Why aren't you living at home?" I asked him. He looked up, interrupted from his own thoughts.

"I've been out bush." He answered. I rolled my eyes. Just as informative as his father.

"Why?" I prompted when he seemed unlikely to go on. He shifted awkwardly.

"It's easier to…cope, when I'm a wolf."

He'd been living as a wolf? I felt instantly horrible. I had managed to hurt him enough to drive him from his home, his family and his normal form. When there were dangerous mythical creatures abound and sucking human blood he manages a home life. But exposure to me had driven him away. What sort of monster was I?

"I don't have to think my own thoughts all the time." Jacob continued, filling the silence with explanations. "And I can see that things _can _work out, like with Leah. Did you know she imprinted? That whole problem with Sam and Leah and Emily is fixed, and we never even saw it coming. So I can hope that maybe there's a way out of this mess for us."

He turned to me and took my hands in his.

"Can you understand?" He asked, his eyes pleading.

"Of course I do!" I told him. "It's just…how is anything going to be fixed? There's only if you imprinted…. But that won't happen while you're hiding away in the woods….what?"

Jacob was staring at me in disbelief.

"We're meant to be together, I know," I admitted. "But I have Edward. He's the one who trumped true love for me. You deserve the same. If you imprinted…."

"I have imprinted." Jacob said quietly.

"What?"

"It's you. It's always been you."

I froze.

I started concentrating on breathing in and out.

"You…I – WHAT?"

Jacob stood and began pacing back and forth in front of me.

"The night I…changed… I ran. It was the only thing I could do. I had to get away from the fact that I'd almost killed dad."

He kicked a rock to vent frustration. I watched it…. And couldn't see far enough to see where it landed.

"I ended up in Forks. I saw you through your window. Gravity shifted. You're it, Bella. No easy solution, sorry."

"Jake I'm so sorry." I whispered. I stood up and moved to where he stood. Without speaking I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tight.

Jacob was right.

This sucked.

**Author's note:**

And that's all folks!!!!! And review please. Just one new person? Who's never reviewed before? Da da da da HEY!


	6. decisions & goodbyes

**Disclaimer (I love copy & paste):** I don't own anything that has any reference to Twilight or any of the books that follow.

**Author's note: **

ARGH!!! REVEIWS FROM NEWBIES!!! I love reviews!!! Can you tell?

Mrs. James Harold Potter: Thank you so much for the ever faithful reviewing! And did she say that? Oops. Anyway, I'm sorry but I love Edward, he's staying.

Atlantis to Interzone and Saranha de Angelo: Thankyou for reviewing, you both made my day!!

**FINDING RESOLUTION**

_Chapter Six: Decisions and goodbyes_

Emily had been cooking all day. To provide a month's worth of food. For the pack to devour in one night.

I ate sparingly, then leant on Jacob's arm as he ate enough food to seed a small country. My eyelids were heavy, and kept drifting closed. I forced them open and watched as the Quileutes gathered around the bonfire.

It felt like home to be here again. Despite my best efforts, the comfort and the warmth lulled me to sleep.

I partially woke at one point to hear Billy's authoritive voice midway through the tale.

"…the assembled pack converged on Volterra in segments, still unable to patch their differences. The small Quileute pack took the western wall of the city. The call came to attack. They moved in. They saw through the eyes of every wolf present what the forerunners had been unable to identify.

The guard of Volterra, spaced so closely together along the wall, were not the cold ones after all. And neither were they human. They were the Dhian.

And so you see the pack in a tricky situation. And you see the cunning of the Dhian. For they honoured their pact with the cold ones in that no harm would befall their kind by any non human, exactly as stated.

But the wolves couldn't pass the wall without breaking their own truce with the Dhian.

So they kept both promises, both truces, exactly as they had said they would. And without lifting a finger, the Volturi won. Via the spirit world, The Dhian would always know if the wolves came to attack, and would always block the way.

The Quileute pack returned…"

I drifted to sleep again, lulled by Billy's rhythmic voice.

"Bella. Wake up." I felt Jacob's hand shaking me lightly. I roused, opened my eyes and reluctantly lifted my head from Jacob's shoulder.

The fire had burned down to the glow of embers. I scrambled up abruptly.

"Oh no! I fell asleep!" I complained. I'd missed the entire story. I could vaguely remember something about an attack that had made little sense.

"I'll tell you the story later." Jacob promised. Then his eyes darkened and he smiled sadly at me. He knew that there might not be a later for us.

I looked around. The pack had dispersed, leaving only Quil, Embry, Emily and Billy.

They remained.

To say goodbye.

I hugged Emily tight.

"I'll miss you," she said, hugging me back. I wanted so much to say that I'd see her soon. But I couldn't. It could be decades before I had the control to see her. And Sam was very protective.

"I'll miss you too." I said, holding back tears.

"Bye bye vampire girl." She said, squeezing my hand as she pulled away. A smile crossed her beautiful, scarred features.

"Bye bye wolf girl." I replied, smiling back.

Sam nodded to me curtly, and took Emily's hand. I settled for a nod back.

I waved to them as they left.

Behind me I heard Embry mutter to Quil, thinking I couldn't hear. "Ten bucks says she won't go through with it."

I turned in time to see a quickly broken handshake.

"See you guys." I said. I hugged both of them. They both let me go quickly, grinning at me and then glancing warily at Jacob.

I turned to Billy next.

"Look after Charlie for me?" I asked. He nodded, and held out his hand for me to shake. I did so.

Quil and Embry walked beside Billy as he wheeled his chair away.

Jacob and I returned to the car. Jacob said nothing as I dialed Edward's number into the small silver phone he had given me.

He picked up on the first ring. "Hello?"

His voice sounded, if possible, more musical and entrancing over a telephone line.

"Hi." I said. "We're leaving for the border now."

"I will be there when you are ready."

"I have to…say goodbye."

"Whenever you are ready."

"See you soon," I whispered.

"See you soon." He repeated.

I closed the phone before I could say anything else just to hear his voice again. Soon enough I would have him forever. I felt a rush of adrenaline at the thought. This was what I had wanted from the moment I met Edward. Eternity to be with him. It was worth all the pain, all the struggle. Jacob felt like home. But Edward was so much… _more_. More than that.

"I _hate_ that your face does that." Jacob complained.

I looked up at him in surprise.

"Shows everything you feel," he explained. "If I could only convince myself that you didn't love him I could kill him and solve everything."

I started violently and opened my mouth.

"But then you think of him and smile." Jacob continued, his eyes darkening with pain. "– and I know I won't hurt a hair on his head."

"Ironic." I acknowledged. "He says the same about you."

Jacob reached over and grasped my hand.

"How am I supposed to live without you Bella?"

Tears welled in my eyes. This was the hardest part of my change. I had managed goodbye to Charlie with no tears. But how was I supposed to say goodbye to Jacob?

For a moment, the opportunity flashed across my mind. I could stay here. Stay with him. Never have to say goodbye to the pack or Charlie or food or Jacob. I could be with him, not for forever, but for as long as we lived. Grow old together in the love and comfort and perfection that we both knew was there.

As soon as the thought crossed my mind, my stomach burned around the sides, opening up the wound that had been there since Edward left me, barely healed. I couldn't have a future without Edward in it! I couldn't do it. I loved him more than life, more than the love I had for Jacob. Maybe before I met him, I could have lived happily with Jacob, knowing that it was the most right thing that ever happened. But not now. Edward had said it so perfectly not so long ago. I was the divine light that had flashed across his sky. He was mine. And when he was there… Jacob was just a bright pinpoint of light. And when he gone… Jacob was nothing in comparison.

And he was nothing in comparison to the pain of losing Edward.

But no matter how he compared to Edward… It hurt to lose him. It hurt so much. It was like saying goodbye to a limb. It wasn't supposed to be left behind. It felt utterly wrong for Jacob to not be in my life.

"What about me?" I protested. "How do I live without you?"

Jacob pulled the car to the side of the road as we approached the invisible line that was the border. I saw Edward's Volvo ahead, waiting patiently.

"It doesn't have to be that way." I whispered. "We can still…" I trailed off. Jacob was shaking his head.

"You won't be you anymore. You'll be my – "

"I _will not _be your enemy." I declared. I reached over and took his warm hand in mine. Even as the coldest part of his body, it burned against my skin. "I don't _care _what I am, or what you are. That's nothing. It changes _nothing_."

"It changes _everything_ Bella!"

"It doesn't!" I insisted. "Nothing changed when I found out that Edward was a vampire. Or when you changed into a werewolf. I'll still be ME. Just more…durable."

"And thirsty." Jacob muttered. I looked down.

"I'll get used to that eventually."

We sat in silence for several long moments.

"We can't do this!" I said, hopeless. "We can't say goodbye! It's too hard."

"How about we pretend it's not goodbye?" Jacob suggested, eyes glinting. I nodded slowly.

"Okay." I agreed.

"See you later Bella." Jacob said. He reached over to hug me tight. I felt his hands on my back and in my hair. His lips pressed to my forehead.

"See you soon Jake." I managed.

Jacob climbed out of his side of the car and helped me out.

"You're far too light." He grumbled. "He should be looking after you better."

Edward met us at the border.

"Look after her." Jacob ordered him. Edward nodded, looking at Jacob with respect in his eyes. Jacob reached out to shake Edward's hand. It was slightly comical – neither one moved or released eye contact during the handshake. Edward didn't make a single movement across the border. One burning hot, dark-skinned hand shook another pale ice cold one. They finally released hands, but not eye contact. Edward's eyes narrowed for a moment, then he gave an almost imperceptible nod. Jacob released his grip around my shoulders. I reached up and kissed him of the cheek, before crossing the line into Edward's waiting arms.

**Author's note:**

Hey so can I have another new reviewer? Please?

And just in case nobody knew, safeway have REALLY CHEAP CHOCOLATE this week. Which isn't really useful to any of you. But it is to me!!! WHOOP WHOOP!


	7. gone

**Disclaimer (diligently retyped):** I don't own anything that has any reference to Twilight or any of the books that follow.

**Author's note: **

_Tabbicat:_ thank you!! I really appreciate the review you've no idea, really.

_leechlover2_: one word… and yet your review is the one that made me laugh, because me and my friend Lucy just finished watched Bill and Ted's Most Excellent Adventure and had been doing "excellent" voice take offs all day. Nice word picking. Thanks!

_Mrs. James Harold Potter_ Thanks for the idea, definitely a fun plot bunny. But I already have a plot bunny for Bella's change which was going to be this chapter… but I was in an angsty mood. AND im rambling again. Thanks for the review, as always, and feel free to share ideas I'm a fan of them.

_best.time.of.day.is.TWILIGHT_I'm sorry I made you upset! …and I have a feeling I'm about to do it again… sorry!

**FINDING RESOLUTION**

_Chapter seven:gone._

_I was never going to see Jacob again._

Edward watched me in concern the whole drive, his glance flicking only occasionally to the road. I willed myself not to fall to pieces. I had fought my way through this before.

I had fought my way through worse before. I could do it again.

_I would never again see him smile my smile._

Edward wrapped his arm around my waist as we walked from the car to the house. I was unaware of my surroundings, focusing as hard as I could on putting one foot in front of the other. I felt heavier. Like a weight had settled around my heart, or over my shoulders. It seemed as if Edward's arm was the only thing stopping me from sinking into the ground and never rising again.

_I would never again hug him._

I didn't say a word to the Cullen's. I crawled under the covers of the bed in Edward's room and curled into a ball. Edward lay beside me. I could feel the cool of his skin through the blanket he put between us – he was always careful that I didn't get a chill.

_I would never again feel his warmth._

I didn't sleep. I tried. But my brain played a slideshow of memories, as if encouraging me to wallow.

To fall apart.

_I would never again feel his arms around me._

Tears ran down my cheeks. I had no conscious control. My eyes simply gave up the fight and let them fall. I didn't sob. I didn't shake. I didn't mourn.

I didn't feel.

_He was gone._

Forever.

In every way the word implied.

**Author's note:**

Sorry it's so short. But it's soon, so I'm sure you'll cope with the pain.

Hm. Hey, just out of interest, those that review, can you let me know if you like Edward or Jacob better?

Now… as always, my eternal asking for reviews. Because they are what inspires me to update quickly! And they are what inspires me to attempt to become a better writer so that you will love me more. And they are also what makes other people read my story. So please? Pretty purple button. One word reviews more than welcome!


	8. preperations & embarrassing talks

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything that has any reference to Twilight or any of the books that follow.

**Author's note: **

_Sara_: Thanks for the review!! Your and kk's arrived in my inbox just after I'd been given shitloads of homework, so it was very cheering. I love new reviewers. And I don't think you're alone in the Jacob sentiments!

_Kk_: Thanks! Your and Sara's arrived just after I'd been given copious amounts of homework, so it made me considerably less irritated. Reveiws are one hell of a mood lifter, go figure. Another Jacob. There's a few of them.

_Atlantis to Interzone_ Thank you! And why does Edward annoy you? I will never understand, I love him. Luckily for all the Jacob lovers though, I love Jacob too!

_Kris Black:_ THANK YOU! High praise deserves capitals letters I think. I know what you mean about the loving them both thing. Why does there have to be TWO perfect guys? That's just rude.

_Crazy Lady:_ Thanks for reviewing! It's hard to find JacobBella ones, isn't it? I think Twilight readers generally just don't like him. It's odd.

_UnderAgeThinker_ THANKS FOR REVIEWING! (capitals for diligence) And I'm glad I hit the sad note. That's where I was aiming! Your right though with the boys. Summed it up beautifully.

_Mrs. James Harold Potter_ THANKS AGAIN! And yeah I figured you were a Jacob lover. All you Jacob-lovers are very nearly almost swaying me that way... but then I pick up Twilight and Edward's still exceptional. Thanks so much for reviewing every chapter I love your reviews!

_ReaderRabid_ Thanks for reviewing! And I will never understand why people would want to make either boy evil. They're both perfect, they should stay that way.

_Tabbicat:_ Thanks! And agreed. Completely. Sheesh I don't even want my cake if I'm not allowed to eat it!!!!

**FINDING RESOLUTION**

_Chapter eight: preparations and embarrassing talks_

The sun's rays hit the window the following morning. I hadn't slept a wink. Edward's face was inches from mine. His flawless skin reflected the sunlight, glinting in a smooth expanse of pure light. The pain faded somewhat. I might not have my own private sun anymore… But the light that I had was incomparable.

I moved closer to him. His eyes flickered to my face, concern and pain creasing his perfect features.

"It won't happen again." I promised sadly. I'd done it again. I had promised myself I wouldn't do this. But he'd seen my pain _again_. I didn't want him to know how much pain I was in. He would worry about me, and share my pain. He would blame himself and feel guilty. I didn't want that.

"Are you _sure – _" Edward's eyes were dark with worry.

"Yes." I replied before he could finish.

"But it's hurting you so much!" His cool hands were on my face, keeping me from looking away. "I don't... I want… I _hate_ seeing you in pain when there's nothing I can do to fix it."

"I've been given two perfect soul mates. It's the universe's revenge." I explained. I stood up and tugged on his hands. I was incapable of pulling him up with me, but he followed. Maybe because he knew that was what I wanted. He was always so unselfish – if I wanted something he would do everything in his power to make sure I had it.

Or maybe because, like gravity, he was drawn to where I went.

"Where are we going?" Edward asked, wrapping his cool hands around my own.

"It's well past time. Where are we going to do this?" I replied, smiling. Edward backpedaled, catching up with admirable speed.

"You aren't ready." He said stubbornly.

"I am." I informed him.

"But you – "

"I've said goodbye to Charlie. I've said goodbye to the pack. Everybody in Forks thinks I've already left for Alaska. I said goodbye to…Jacob..."

"But – "

"This is what I want. I'm ready."

"You – "

"Please Edward? _Please?_ I don't want to fight you on this."

I saw defeat in his eyes and smiled widely in victory. I squeezed his hand.

"Aren't you happy?" I asked, uncertainty rising. He was so against this whole idea. What if _he _had doubts?

He pulled me against him, so that his arm could wrap tightly around me.

"Don't ever think that!" I said, his velvet voice making me shiver. "I want you for whatever piece of forever we can manage. You know that. It's only you. I just don't want you to regret this. Once I've changed you, you can't ever go back – "

"This is what I want." I repeated, cutting him off. "It's time."

Edward's eyes fixed on mine. He saw nothing but determination there. He nodded reluctantly.

"I have to hunt again first." He murmured. "I'll be back soon."

He kissed me lightly, and was gone before I opened my eyes.

Only when I was gone did I finally see my surroundings. Alice had decorated. An intricate embroidered banner announced congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. Rose petals decorated the floor. A new dark paneled wardrobe was packed full of the results of a shopping spree. I scowled, and ran downstairs to find her.

"Don't run down the stairs!" Alice warned, darting past me in the hallway and flashing down the stairs. I was about to ignore the warning, then considered who was speaking. Smiling ruefully, I walked, picking my way carefully to level ground.

Alice was waiting, seated gracefully on a stool near the kitchen bench.

"You bought me an entire wardrobe of clothes! Alice! It's too much, you know that!"

"I know." She agreed cheerfully. "Carlisle hurry up! She's getting all accusing!"

"…Carlisle?" I asked.

"He wants to replace your cast."

As if on cue, Carlisle appeared by my side, armed with miscellaneous cast removing apparatus. And, to be terror, a large injection needle.

"What…?" I asked, staring pointedly at the needle.

"For the morphine. Alice said it was today."

I jumped slightly and turned to Alice.

"Do you… Will it work? The morphine?"

Alice scowled. I raised my eyebrows.

"Jacob's going to be there. I can't see a damn thing."

"Jacob's going to be there?" I asked, my voice rising slightly despite my best efforts at calm. I'd only just managed to cope with saying goodbye to him. I couldn't go through that _again!_ My heart sank; Alice was nodding slowly, her eyes carefully watching the expressions on my face.

"Hold still." Carlisle said, taking my casted arm. I looked away, focusing on Alice again.

"Edward's going to bring him back." Alice warned me, watching me carefully. Edward… I sighed heavily, remembering a silent conversation at the border.

"One day they're going to have a conversation out aloud." I complained.

"Cast's off." Carlisle announced. I turned quickly to look at my arm. I wasn't surprised at his quick removal. He was a vampire, after all, though I tended to forget the fact when it came to Carlisle. He was nodded thoughtfully, running his cool arms up and down my perfectly healthy looking arm.

"You're right Alice. Completely healed." He marveled. I frowned in confusion.

"Any idea why?" I asked. Surely Carlisle would know.

He was silent, examining my arm. He turned my forearm to look at the veins in the inside of my wrist and his hands stilled.

"Your scar is gone." He whispered. I pulled my arm back and looked.

He was right. The eerily cool, crescent shaped bite mark had vanished from my wrist.

"But how – "

"I have absolutely no idea."

Carlisle had no idea? Carlisle _always_ had at least a theory. I felt as if the worlds foundations were shaking. How could the scar be gone? _Jasper_ still had his scars, and he was practically made of rock.

"May I take a blood test?" Carlisle asked politely. I nodded.

One large nasty needle and spontaneous cheek cell sample later, Carlisle disappeared in the direction of the hospital, while Alice dragged me into the lounge room.

"So… we need to talk _wedding night_." She informed me. Rosalie appeared at the words and sat on the couch on my other side. Stone hands held me at either side to keep me from fleeing what held the potential to become an embarrassing conversation.

"Edward's a big boy." Alice noted. "Wedding night must have been….interesting."

"And wedding _week_ must have been _brilliant!_" Rosalie put in.

I felt my cheeks warm.

"Why didn't you look?" Rosalie asked Alice, interested.

"It would be weird seeing Edward naked. He's my brother." Alice scowled. "Plus he made me swear by my car that I wouldn't," she admitted.

Rosalie turned to me. "…so?"

I said nothing. I didn't want to talk about this. It was _private! _ It was between Edward and me. It was…. _Unbelievably incredible and mind blowing_ and I wanted to shout that fact to the world. I clamped my mouth shut. Alice especially knew far too much about my life already.

"Please Bella? Tell us!" Alice asked, begging me with her big golden eyes.

Or I could tell her. It was _Alice_ after all. She was my best friend, and now practically my sister.

And it was hard to refuse those eyes. She might not yet rival Edward for her use of those eyes, but she came considerably close.

"Wedding night…" I considered, searching for the right words. The English language was failing me.

"… it stung a little bit." I said, settling for an understatement.

Rosalie and Alice both nodded reassuringly. Apparently they'd been reading up on their human information.

"Edward was so great though!" I said, remembering. He'd been so careful, so loving. So….Edward.

"He waited, made sure I was….ready."

"And by 'ready' she actually means 'incredibly horny.'" Rosalie translated to Alice.

My traitorous mind immediately started flashing back memories. I felt my face grow yet warmer. And to think, there was a new level of blush that my face had yet to reach previously.

"That, too." I agreed, embarrassed as my double-crossing hormones made my heart beat faster at simply the memories of feelings. I clamped my jaw again. Girl talk was one thing, but Alice and Rosalie didn't need to know anything but the bare necessities about my incredible week.

"And wedding week?"

"Mind-blowing." I said immediately.

Both of them smiled widely.

"Did Edward have any…problems?" Alice asked slowly, choosing words carefully. Rosalie made a noise that in a less stunning woman would have been labeled a snort.

"You think after a century of no sex life he's not going to be able to get it up?" She said, derision still managing to sound smooth in her voice.

"Not _that_!" Alice corrected, grinning. "I meant vampire related problems."

I shook my head.

"He was fine. He was _really_ careful for a while that he didn't accidentally… crush me. You know what he's like. He worries _so much._ But it was really no problem. He was never going to hurt me."

"There was no blood?" Alice asked, unsure. I guessed whatever information they had on human virginity was limited.

"There was blood." I admitted. "But he's been able to cope with that for ages."

"So it wasn't any problem? At all?" Alice asked.

I shook my head. I might be struggling for words to describe wedding week. But _problem _didn't even come close.

"That's brilliant!" Alice said, smiling widely.

"I thought so." I agreed. Even brilliant didn't quite get there. I mean, the general population's obsession with sex leads you to believe that it's going to be good. But the whole experience was so much like Edward – indescribably perfect.

"So our sexually repressed brother finally got laid." I heard a familiar male voice drawl from somewhere behind me. I spun quickly to see Emmett leaning against the wall.

Crap.

I'd completely forgotten about vampire hearing.

"How much did you – "

" – pretty much all of it."

"Somebody forgot we have impeccable hearing." I heard a smooth voice gloat from behind me. I spun again, feeling as if I were at a tennis match.

Crap.

Jasper was leaning on the other wall.

Crap.

"How much did _you _hear?" I asked.

"Smatterings. Brief snatches. Mumbles." He replied, smiling widely.

"So pretty much everything, too?"

"Yes."

"_Crap._"

"Hey, don't worry. We're family now." Emmett said, grinning widely and ruffling my hair as he passed me to sit by Rosalie.

Somehow, that was no reassurance.

Edward took far too long to get home. So did Carlisle. My new siblings teamed up to quiz me mercilessly about my newly developed sex life.

It was uncomfortable.

It was embarrassing.

I found myself hoping the wind didn't change, in case my face stayed as a permanent shade of red for the rest of eternity.

I wanted Edward to come back and save me from the shameless questioning.

I wanted Edward to come back so we could repeat the entire wedding week.

Lets face it…

I wanted Edward.

Carlisle arrived first, carrying a massive microscope, which he single-handedly carried inside and began to set up. Esme appeared out of nowhere to help him, winking at me. My face grew hotter.

"What did you find out?" I asked him, seizing the opportunity to change the subject.

"I haven't seen anything like it since I set Jacob's bones." He marveled. "Your cells are dividing at a hundred times the normal rate."

"So I'm unnatural?" I asked, unsurprised, "_again?_"

"Are you suggesting that being a werewolf is contagious?" Jasper inquired.

"Honestly, I have no idea." Carlisle admitted. He seemed determined to attempt to find out, however. "Have you had a cold lately Bella?"

"No…" I replied, confused.

"There's antibodies in your blood. The immune response is completely unexpected. You haven't been sick, and the sheer rate of antibody reaction…"

"So basically what he's saying, Bella," Emmett said, slinging an arm around my shoulder, "is that even to the cellular level, you're really weird."

"Thanks Emmett." I commented dryly.

I kept being reminded that I wasn't a vampire. Now was no exception – as if a radio had been switched on just to the edge of hearing, every Cullen simultaneously turned their heads as if searching for reception.

(AN: HEY that rhymed!!)

And then they all swiftly relocated outside, Emmett dragging me along with him slightly slower.

I saw absolutely nothing.

Until a blur went past me, and Jacob's massive wolf form appeared by the house, nudging the wall with his nose.

Closely followed by the second blur that was Edward.

Jacob disappeared into the woods and returned human and wearing shorts, holding out one hand.

I watched, interested, as a now golden eyed Edward pulled ten dollars from a pocket and reluctantly handed it to Jacob.

"Ten bucks? That's pathetic." Emmett informed his brother.

"It's the principle of the matter." Edward explained.

"What he said." Jacob agreed.

"You let the team down." Jasper said with exaggerated disappointment, patting Edward on the shoulder as he walked past back to the lounge.

The rest of the family said nothing, simply hiding smiles as they disappeared into the house.

"You felt the need to race." I stated. It still felt odd seeing Jacob and Edward in the one place.

"We're blood enemy's, we both love the same girl and we aren't allowed to kill each other. Racing seemed the next best option." Jacob explained. He looked thoroughly pleased with himself. I rolled my eyes.

We all fell silent for a moment, Jacob and I fidgeting in discomfort. Edward kept his perfect stillness with no visible difficulty.

"So." I said. "I didn't need to say goodbye, apparently."

"Guess not." Jacob said.

"You know, telling me was an option."

"He wasn't sure if he wanted to be here or not." Edward explained.

"You do… want me here?" Jacob asked, uncertain. He shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other. "I can… go, if you don't want me to – "

" – no, stay. Don't go." I interrupted. I suddenly realized that I could have both of the guys I loved with me while I went through the worst pain of my life. And as I got closer to the event, I was starting to worry about that more and more.

And I knew that if I was still okay with becoming a vampire while Jacob was standing there, then I wouldn't regret this. And Edward would know that.

And in the same inexplicable way that I wanted Edward to be the one to bite me… I wanted Jacob to hold my hand while he did. I could have Edward's cool hand on one side, and grip Jacob's warm hand with my other.

"Okay." He said simply.

"Oh, stop procrastinating and bite her!" Emmett yelled from inside.

Jacob's fists clenched.

"No last minute attacks to stop this from happening?" I pleaded with Jacob, checking to make sure that wasn't what he planned. He scowled, then nodded.

"Where are we doing this?" I asked Edward. He gestured inside, and then led the way. I followed. Everybody but for Alice and Carlisle were getting ready to leave, smiling apologetically. I waved to them and followed Edward up the stairs to his room.

I smiled. I could still remember the first time I'd seen this room. When I had met his family for the first time, and had been so worried that they wouldn't like me; not that they would eat me. It was as if I'd come a full circle. This whole situation was so ironic. It seemed somehow right for this to be here.

"Why here?" I heard Jacob ask.

"This room is sound-proofed."

…or there's that.

I crawled onto the bed. The massive king sized bed that I had protested against so vehemently until Edward had persuaded me to like it. My skin tingled, remembering his form of persuasion.

Edward stretched gracefully beside me, and gently pushed my hair behind my ear, resting his cool hand on my neck.

Jacob stayed standing, his hands curled in tight fists, his face carefully controlled.

"Are you sure?" Edward whispered.

I nodded

He leant down and kissed my neck, and looked up at me.

His golden eyes smoldered. My skin tingled, my heart raced. I could have this feeling forever. I could have _him _ forever. In every way the word implied.

"You have to sacrifice so much. Are you _sure_?"

"In every possible way, Edward, it's worth it." I whispered.

He kissed my neck again, sucking gently to draw the blood to the surface. I shivered. I heard Carlisle enter the room, as reassurance.

He also came bearing a very large needle.

Edward moved back so Carlisle could give me the morphine – enough to knock me out. It didn't take long to kick in. My eyes were drifting closed despite my opinions on the matter.

Edward looked at my face once more, breathing in and out with no visible difficulty.

"I can do this." He smiled triumphantly.

And then he bit me.

**Author's note:**

Oooookay so I didn't manage to keep Jacob out of it for long. So sue me. Plus he needed to be there. I never realized how annoying it is to write a story when one of the characters can see the future. Oh well.

Sorry it took so long. I hate exams. Enough said. Review please???

Oh and by the way, does anybody know how to do a line break? Because I have no idea.


	9. pain and PAIN

**Disclaimer (da da da DA (its new.(go brackets))):** I don't own anything that Stephanie Meyer originally invented.

**Author's note: **

BIG KUDOS AND THANKS to Saranha de Angelo, Mrs. James Harold Potter and Tabbicat and ReaderRabid for reviewing!!!

Big PLEASE REVIEW to the other 26 people who read the chapter and didn't review!! THAT'S RIGHT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I HAVE NUMBERS!!! I love the stats bar it makes me feel loved despite the only 20 something reviews.

_Elindrius:_ ….hiya stranger!

* * *

**FINDING RESOLUTION**

_Chapter nine: pain... and PAIN_

I felt his sharp teeth pierce my skin and felt a sharp pain through the haze of morphine. I felt Edward's mouth at my neck, sucking the bloody from my veins. As he took more blood I gradually grew weaker and weaker. The morphine and the lack of oxygen made it ever more difficult to stay awake. My neck began to go numb.

Edward pulled away. I heard his entrancing voice asking Carlisle something and focused on the rhythm, the velvet tone, instead of the words.

Then it started.

Faint tingles spread slowly from my neck, like pins and needles. The tingles grew gradually sharper, more painful.

And then it started to burn.

It felt like the time I had accidentally landed my arm on the hotplate. Only then, my reflexes had kicked in and pulled my arm away. Now it was enforced, prolonged. As if someone was holding a tiny hotplate to my skin. The heat spread through my neck. My skin had to be blistering, it _burned!_

My muscles tensed, as if lack of motion could somehow stop the burning, the pain. Slowly it ebbed out from my neck. I felt my body shudder, which only made it worse. Edward took one hand, and I felt Jacob grab the other, just like I had imagined.

But I didn't care.

The morphine wasn't doing a damn thing.

I just wanted the pain to go away!

The heat spread under my skin into my body.

I could feel my heartbeat sending blood through cells that didn't need the extra pressure. Already they felt like they were trying to force themselves out of my skin. It felt as if each organ was edged with needles, and was expanding inside my body, which was burning on every surface.

It felt as if knives were pressing through my skin.

It felt as if my neck was throbbing, and each throb send a wave of sharp needles and burning fire to another area of my body. I felt like I was too small for my body, and it was trying to expand out, but wasn't able to.

I could distantly head a loud gasping, a rough groaning, and realized it was coming from me.

I couldn't see through the haze of pain, only hear the sounds that I made, completely out of my control – gasps for breath, sobs, groans.

My head throbbed with the world's most horrible migraine. My head was surely splitting open.

Surely somebody was peeling my skin off, because it felt that way.

My stomach felt as is it were being stirred with sharp razors.

The agony had taken over every corner of my body. My bones, previously safe, were now disintegrating. I could felt the torture as each bone broke into many tiny pieces, and reformed, before stretching. Bones weren't made to stretch! It HURT!

Each throb of pain in my body caused me to release a loud hiss, a bone chilling shriek of pain.

I could never have imagined this pain.

It was complete agony.

This had to have been going on for days. It had to be over soon. I wanted to die.

Oh God.

If I died it wouldn't hurt anymore. Why couldn't I have that?

Surely I would die soon. This pain couldn't possibly be normal. This had to mean that Edward had taken too much blood, given me too much venom and I was dying. But then the pain would be gone, so I just couldn't bring myself to feel anything but relief.

Edward's venom was brutally destroying my body. And my body was protesting.

Loudly.

If only it could be over.

If only the agony would go away.

I could handle the burning, the fire, if the stabbing and the sensation of my bones disintegrating and reforming would only fade.

Oh, anything but _this._

My mind began to struggle to form coherent thoughts, and instead began repeating a torrent of curses and swear words in an attempt to focus on something that wasn't the torture my body was experiencing.

And then I felt it.

The stabbing, starting to fade. The horrible feeling that my innards were being wrenched around gradually stopped. The dull, heavy thudding in my head settled down. The hot burning settled to tingles, and then to blessed numbness.

Was it over?

Was this the morphine?

I didn't care.

The pain had stopped.

The pain was gone!

That meant… I was a vampire! FINALLY! This was what I'd wanted for so long. I could finally be sure of having forever with the people I loved. I wouldn't have to waste away beside their perfection. I wouldn't be the only one aging. I wouldn't be weak, breakable. After so long… I finally had exactly what I wanted.

I started paying attention to my senses again. Not brave enough to see if my sight had returned, I listened. I could hear properly, not just distantly acknowledging sounds. I became aware of a continuous stream of swear words that had replaced my groans of pain – echoing the thoughts in my head. I stopped, and forced myself to concentrate of breathing normally, not with gasps for air, or great sobs.

I opened my eyes and sat up. The blood rushed to my head, and my stomach rebelled. I just managed to lean over so that when my stomach pushed its content up my throat, I vomited on the floor instead of the bed. Jacob held my hair back. Edward disappeared for five seconds and returned with a glass of water and a face washer, and carefully washed my face.

"Is it over?" I asked croakily. I carefully examined my body. My bones were perfectly normal, not broken, not smashed. My skin bore no blisters to show the marks of the fire I had endured. There wasn't a mark on me.

Jacob and Edward sat close on either side, gripping a hand each.

"It shouldn't be…" Edward murmured, pain in his eyes as he watched me.

"How long was I…?" I managed through a cracked and sore throat.

"It's been ten minutes." Jacob said.

TEN MINUTES?

NO!

I had three days of this to live through.

I couldn't do it.

I couldn't do three days of _that!_

I had thought I could deal with the pain.

I was wrong.

I'd changed my mind.

It wasn't worth the pain.

…But the pain wasn't coming back.

I sat up straighter.

Worry and pain faded from the boys' eyes, to be replaced with confusion.

"The pain's gone." I told them. I experimentally shifted all my limbs. Nothing. Everything was fine. I reached for my neck and felt a slight puckered scar. Nothing more.

I had definitely felt Edward's teeth break my skin! There should have been a open gash, like when James had bitten me.

"That's not possible…" I whispered. How was this happening? This made no sense.

"Carlisle?" Edwards asked, panic and confusion infused in his normally calm tone.

"Didn't I… was there not enough venom? Maybe didn't break the skin properly? What _happened?_"

His voice began to pick up self deprecation. I was about to leap to reassure him, then his words sunk in. Not enough venom…did he have to bite me _again?_

"You fucked it up?" Jacob exploded. "She has to do that _again? _Because you couldn't _bite her_ properly? It's what you're _made for,_ bloodsucker! How could you…" He trailed off, gripping my hand tightly. He forced the shaking that had started during his tirade to stop. He watched me with such concern that I was touched. He was so _worried _about me.

"There was enough venom, you broke the skin fine." Carlisle said calmly, interrupting. He moved forward, touched my scar briefly and stepped back.

"I think there's something going on here that we've never encountered before."

"Then what…?" I asked, then failed to find a question. Maybe it was me. Maybe my cells couldn't even change properly.

Could I possibly be quite that abnormal?

"Let me take another blood test. I'll see what I can find." Carlisle said, calm as always. I held out my arm unresisting. Maybe he could figure out what was going on.

* * *

Carlisle spent two hours in his study with his microscope. Edward and Jacob wouldn't let me stand for the first hour until I proved that I had recovered. I was grinding my teeth, I was so impatient. Jacob punched his hand every now and then, and looked as if he wanted to run out into the bush, phase, and do several thousand laps of the house. Or, you know, the state.

Edward sat beside me on the bed, and then stood by my side in the kitchen.

Only his tight grip on my waist, and his carefully controlled expression told me that he wasn't completely calm, as his relaxed position would suggest.

I inquired once about the constant flashes of frustration on his face.

"He's blocking me out." He explained, tapping his head and smiling ruefully.

"_Him_, however…" He muttered quietly, tilting his head in Jacob's direction.

Jacob glared at him. "It's _my_ head! If you're gonna listen, you're gonna have to deal with it."

"You could attempt to stop _shouting_ your thoughts." Edward suggested.

"You could attempt to get the hell the out of my head!" Jacob retorted.

"We could all attempt to be civil?" I suggested mildly. They both shut up.

An age later, Carlisle emerged.

"I know what's happened."

We all tried to speak at once.

"Did I – "

"Did he – "

"How can – "

"You're going to have to wait for me to explain." Carlisle said over us. We fell silent and waited.

Edward groaned softly.

"I'm sorry Bella." He whispered, kissing the top of my head. Apparently, he'd gained access.

"What did he – "

"You didn't – "

"You're going to have to let me explain." Carlisle said patiently.

We fell silent again.

"The human immune system acts by creating – "

" – Do we _need_ the biology lecture?" Jacob asked, temper obviously on edge.

"Yes." Carlisle answered simply. He raised an eyebrow, and Jacob fell silent.

"The human immune system acts by creating antibodies for each antigen. Each time a new, unfamiliar particle enters the body – the antigen – the body makes a specific antibody that matches the antigen like a jigsaw. Then the antibody attaches to the foreign particle and removes it from the body. Once it is gone, the antibody is 'saved' so to speak, so that it can be used again if the same antigen reenters the body."

"May I summarize?" Edward asked politely. Carlisle nodded.

"The antigen is my venom, and Bella has antibodies."

"Awesome!" Jake said, smiling widely.

I ignored Jake.

"WHAT?" I exploded. "How? Why? WHAT??!?"

"Let me finish." Carlisle said calmly. I fell silent, fuming. I really didn't like where this was going.

"I'm guessing that when you kissed Edward, small amounts of venom were introduced into your body. Not enough to case any damage – but enough for your body to create antibodies. So when he bit you, your body fought off the venom because it already had the antibodies."

"So I'm immune to Edward." I said hollowly. I knew it was too good to be true.

Carlisle nodded.

"Why wouldn't that happen normally? Why wouldn't anybody who got bitten be able to make antibodies?" Jacob inquired. I could practically see him absorbing information. I glared at him. Why did he have to be a werewolf _now?_

"It would take a week to make the antibodies. By then, anybody else would be changed or dead."

"Oh but not ME! Heaven forbid I could be normal." I muttered.

"I'm sorry." Edward whispered, wrapping his arms tightly around me. "I didn't know – I wouldn't have…"

I'd never heard him struggle for words before. My brain raced. There had to be an answer, any answer. 'Specific' is what my mind latched onto.

"Specific!" I exclaimed, having a sudden brainwave. Hope rose again. "Would another vampire's venom do? Yours? Alice's? I haven't kissed either of you, I wouldn't have antibodies to…"

I drifted off. Carlisle was shaking his head. My heart sank before he even spoke.

"Our venom is exactly the same. You have antibodies for _vampire _venom, not just Edward's."

"I am immune to _vampire's._" I said flatly. Nobody said anything.

"This isn't FAIR!" I complained. I knew that I sounded like a child, but I didn't care.

"I WANTED THIS! I wanted this so much! I was _ready _to sacrifice everything to be one of you!"

My emotions were gradually and strongly taking over.

That and my hormones.

"How can my IMMUNE SYSTEM take away from me?? My IMMUNE SYSTEM has taken away everything I ever wanted!" I gripped Edward's waist and looked at him through the tears that rushed unhindered down my face.

"I want you! I want you _forever_! Not for 70 years or so while I waste away! I want you for eternity and this is so beyond fair it's ridiculous!"

I leaned against him, sobbing. Why was I crying? Crying wasted time. I didn't have _time._ Thanks to my antibodies, I was deprived of eternity.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" Edward was whispering.

"It's not – your fault!" I sobbed, tears streaming.

"I kissed you." Edward said, for all the world looking like he would take it all back if only he could save me this pain.

"You didn't know." I whispered.

I saw Jacob struggling with the need to phase, the need to run.

And suddenly that's what I wanted to do.

"I need to go. I need to be out of here. I need to – "

I sprinted outside, unable to explain. I ran as fast as I could and made it to the edge of the forest before I fell. Edward caught me, as always, safe in his arms. But I didn't want to be saved. I wanted to hurt. I wanted the pain back! The pain that would mean I could have my piece of forever back.

I looked down to see what I'd tripped on.

There was nothing there.

Typical.

Oh, vampire venom, give me some of that, I can cope.

Remaining vertical, however, was just too much of a challenge.

The universe hates me.

* * *

**Author's note:**

Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce you to TWIST NUMBER ONE I finally got there. Hope you enjoyed!

Bet none of you saw THAT coming!

PLEASE review. You have to now. I used upper case. Clearly it must be of unimaginable importance!!!

HA! I can do line breaks!

* * *

Pretty purple button. 


	10. visions and goodbyes

**Disclaimer:** If somebody else thinks they own it, it ain't mine.

**Author's note: **Super observant me has just discovered the review reply, which I shall take advantage of next time. In the meantime, my guilty apologies for 1. taking FOREVER to update and 2. not writing replies to reviews for this chapter. I would give a large portion of something-or-other to not have to sleep. So I can have TIME!! TIME would be a fantastic thing!!! Anyway, sorry! And enjoy.

**FINDING RESOLUTION**

_Chapter ten: visions and goodbyes_

The boys wouldn't let me stand up in case I had sustained spinal or head injuries. Despite the fact that I hadn't ever actually made contact with the ground. Which I pointed out.

Twice.

Loudly.

"It's not us being ridiculous. We just don't trust you to stand on your own feet." Jacob pointed out eventually.

…which might have been justified.

I sighed and gave up, leaning back into Edward's arms. I smiled happily at the familiar sensation of cool hardness against my back. Maybe there were advantages after all. Of course, as soon as I stopped arguing, my mind started processing my situation.

I couldn't become a vampire. I was going to get old. Nobody else was going to; unless Jacob had a sudden epiphany that phasing was no fun and stopped doing so… unlikely. And I was, with all probability, going to be watched for the rest of my life in order to protect me from myself.

I forgot temporarily that there was more risking my life than my own bad luck. I was reminded in a most unpleasant way.

I felt Edward's arms tighten protectively around my waist, and he stood swiftly, pulled me up with him. He lifted me into his arms, bridal style, and met Alice halfway across the yard. Her eyes were panicked, his barely guarded.

They had a conversation so quickly that I heard only snippets. Edward mentioned something about hiding me.

"What did you see?" I asked Alice. Only a vision could have caused this panic.

Jacob caught up to us. Edward and Alice immediately took on considering looks, looking over Jacob carefully.

"If you don't follow…" Alice mused.

"I know." Edward agreed reluctantly.

"_What did you see?_" I asked, infusing slightly more volume into my voice.

"What's going on?" Jacob asked.

Edward and Alice continued to speak quickly enough that we couldn't understand either of them. I sighed heavily. Yet _another_ reason why I regretted ever having an immune system. If I had been changed I would be able to hear their words – not just a blur of sound.

Hold the phone!

Alice had a vision that sent her into a panic.

Edward was now planning to run away and hide me.

The two of them were frantically planning something.

"Oh, crap!" I moaned. "The Volturi are coming, aren't they?"

"Oh _great._" Jacob complained. "Now _you_ know what's happening too!"

I flapped a hand in his direction to silence him.

"It's just a group of vampires out for my blood, never mind that. Why do you have to hide me?"

"They'll kill you if they find out you can't be changed." Alice said sadly.

"Finally!" I muttered, "response!"

"_Another _group trying to kill you?"

"So what did you and Edward plan?" I asked, taking advantage of my window of response, and ignoring Jacob.

"Jacob's going to hide you in the forest, like last time, only I won't follow you." Edward said. "And we're going to tell them that I killed you during the change."

"You're not going to be with me?" I didn't like the idea of hiding without him. I would be with Jacob… but it wasn't quite the same.

"Then will they leave?" Jacob asked.

Edward said nothing in response to my complaint, only wrapping his arms around me tighter to show that he didn't like it either. Alice answered Jacob's question.

"The Volturi leader is in a… unique position to understand how much Bella's blood calls to Edward. He'll believe it."

Jacob opened his mouth to contest. Alice continued before he could speak.

"– and he's not coming, so he won't be able to use the…unique position to see that he's lying. I think they'll lose interest."

"– and the – "

Rosalie's head appeared around the side of the door and yelled, interrupting Jacob before he could produce any words that weren't monosyllable.

"Alice, get your tiny butt in here! I want to know what you saw and Carlisle wants to know if he can help with anything!"

Alice grabbed Jacob's arm and moved in the direction of the house. Jacob dug his heels in stubbornly, and turned to me.

"He can listen to every thought you have ever had." Edward answered before he could speak.

Jacob nodded. He removed his arm from Alice's grip. She gestured towards the house impatiently. He reluctantly walked towards the door.

"Stubborn bloody dog." She muttered.

"I heard that!" Jacob complained.

Edward was always so careful about me. I expected him to use what time we had left to make sure Jacob knew a good place to hide me. To ensure that I packed enough warm clothes and sufficient food.

As always, he surprised me.

He waited until everybody was inside, packing and strategizing, and then he set me on my feet.

He then proceeded to pull me tight against him. Every part of me was crushed against his rock hard body.

I looked up to ask him what brought this on. He interrupted my words and my thought patterns by placing his lips firmly on mine.

After a moment I pulled away, gasping for air.

He curled his hand around the back of my head and pulled me back.

A long moment later he pulled away slowly. His hands rested on either side of my face.

Our eyes remained locked as we gasped for air. My heart was thumping loudly, calling for an hour or ten in an undisturbed room with the love of my life.

"What's wrong?" I gasped, gripping his waist tightly as if to forcibly keep him in place. He hadn't kissed me like that since he'd left me, thinking never to ever see me again.

"Nothing." He said smoothly, pulling my face to his again.

Good answer.

"Tell me?" I persisted the next time I could form coherent thoughts.

"It's nothing." He repeated, kissing me again. His lips were hard and desperate on mine.

He lifted me so that my legs were about a foot off the ground. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pressed myself against him.

It definitely wasn't nothing.

But it could definitely wait.

My lips were bruised the next time we broke apart. I couldn't bring myself to care. He rested his forehead against mine, breathing hard. His hands moved to my legs, moving to lift me down. I locked my legs tighter around his waist.

He smiled, and didn't persist.

"Will you please tell me what's wrong?" I asked quietly, placing both hands on his face to stop him changing the subject again. Most successfully, I had to admit.

He showed no signs of telling me.

"Please?" I asked, lowering my voice again and trying to mimic his compelling looks.

"I'm worried." He relented.

"I'll be fine." I reassured him. "Jacob will look after me."

"That's exactly what I'm worried about." He murmured against my neck.

Edward was being jealous! Edward was being jealous?

"…Jacob?"

"Yes." He growled. He tried once more to remove my legs from their deathgrip on his waist. I acquiesced, but wrapped my arms around him as soon as I hit ground. If I was going to have to be away from him for any length of time, I was taking advantage of what time I had left. He rested his hands lightly on my arms.

"He's always had the odds stacked on his side." He said when it became clear that I was waiting for an explanation. "First, he didn't have to turn you into a monster to keep you. Strangely enough, and to my selfish happiness, that was exactly what you wanted. But now… I can't make you immortal. What if…" He cut himself off.

ARGH! Didn't he know it wasn't immortality I wanted?? It was him I wanted, he _had _to know that!

"You… you think – "

He turned away from me, his hands in his hair.

"You've always been adamantly against aging while I stayed the same. Jacob can grow old with you. What if that's what you want? Jacob could be – " He forced his own words off again. I put a hand on his shoulder and he turned to face me. The pain in his eyes was just barely masked. But I could see it there.

"You think I'm going to give you up for Jacob?" I asked in disbelief.

"You're spending a week alone with a guy who _knows_… you know – hell, _I know_ he is your soulmate. You are meant to be together. You'll be with him and_ I can't follow you_. While I'm not there you could decide…"

I saw the look in his eyes changing. The pain was settling to dull acceptance.

"Edward – "

"– no, wait. He's safer for you. He's better for you. He can grow old with you. Hell, he was born in the same century. No part of _him_ wants your blood. You'd be better – "

"Don't you DARE start that!" I interrupted. He stopped. The pain in his eyes was completely gone, replaced by a controlled, thoughtful glint. Probably thinking about some noble plan to save my soul.

"Edward, listen to me." I said, watching to make sure he wasn't planning his sacrificial plot.

"I don't _care_ who's better for me. I want you!"

He said nothing. His posture, his expression spoke of a century of practiced confidence. But his eyes showed uncertainty.

"You're supposed to be the smart one." I said, wrapping my arms around him again. "You have to know that."

"Are you sure?" He whispered in my ear. I shivered in pleasure at the tingling from his breath.

I kissed him hard in response.

"Good answer." He whispered when I pulled back.

Jacob stepped out of the house, followed by the Cullen's. They'd left us alone for quite a while. I suspected Alice had been running interference for us.

"A whole week of _you _with _him._" Edward muttered.

"We're friends, Edward." I said, in an attempt to reassure. "We'll fool around a bit, I'll probably fall over, he'll probably try to kiss me – "

"Oh, he'll definitely try to kiss you."

"_Great._" I complained.

"Do me one favour?" Edward asked, his voice drifting from where his cheek lay against my hair.

"Anything." I vowed immediately.

"Don't _ask _him to. I _really_ want to smash his face in."

I laughed.

"And you'll definitely fall over." He assured me.

"Thanks." I said dryly.

They finished talking by the door and headed in our direction. Jacob carried two massive bags.

"A whole week without you." I complained.

"I have tent, food, clothes, etcetera etcetera, Alice says they're on their way, time to go." Jacob announced. Only the flash of pain in his eyes let on that he was jealous in any way. Another flash across his face showed anticipation. Edward was right, as always. He was definitely going to try to kiss me.

"Blankets?" Edward asked, facing Jacob and holding me firmly to his side.

"Two."

"Is that enough?" Edward asked Alice. She shook her head slowly.

Jacob opened his arms, gesturing to himself.

"Space heater." He reminded.

Edward nodded reluctantly. He pulled me in front of him again and kissed me once more, taking my breath away again.

Jacob coughed.

"We need – "

"She'll be with you for a week, I want to say goodbye." Edward interrupted smoothly, releasing me only long enough to speak.

"Goodbye." I said when he let me go. I was proud of myself for managing speech, let alone a coherent word. He let me go and I stumbled to Jacob's side. Jacob lifted me easily into his arms, holding me a slight bit too tightly as always.

"I love you." I felt the words as a breath into my ear, accompanied by Edward's scent. I shivered. He was still the two paces away he'd been before. Apparently vampire speed had advantages too.

"So you'll – "

"I'll find you when they're gone." Edward answered Jacob's incomplete question.

"Geez! Will somebody let me finish a damn sentence?" Jacob complained.

"We just did then." Alice pointed out. "Bye Bella."

"Look after yourself." Edward said to me. I nodded.

"Look after her." He said to Jacob. He nodded. When I was concerned, they could be trusted to manage truce.

As Jacob carried me away, I looked over his shoulder at where Edward stood. He stood like stone until I could no longer see him anymore. I sighed heavily.

"Hey cheer up!" Jacob said happily. "You get me instead. Vast improvement."

"Why do you say that?" I asked, wrapping my arms around his neck to stop the jolting from his loping run.

"Well for one, I smell much nicer. And secondly, I don't _rudely interrupt people when they're talking!"_

**Author's note: **I don't deserve it, but please do review? I love them oh so much.

Now there was a question I was going to ask… but I can't remember what it was. So for something entirely not relevant, please all give your opinions on Cadbury vs Nestlea chocolate.


	11. bruises and sleep

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything that has any reference to Twilight or any of the books that follow.

_Yes ladies and gentlemen, that's called covering my arse. (And to those who aren't Aussie... that's how i pronounce it, sorry!)_

**Author's note: **Sorry it's short, I thought it might be a while before I got around to adding to it, so you can have this for the moment. Enjoy!

Oh and Kayla, oh she who I can't reply, thanks for reviewing! And how can you NOT like chocolate? And here I was thinking it was a part of the X chromosome…

* * *

**FINDING RESOLUTION**

_Chapter eleven: bruises and sleep_

"How did you manage to get three bruises setting up a tent?" Jacob asked in confusion.

"Four" I corrected as I found a new one on my shoulder.

"All you had to do was hold a pole." He pointed out.

"No, wait, I think the one on my leg is from earlier today. Three."

"… Not too difficult a request, I didn't think."

"Hello, ankle. Four."

"Why am I confused? It's you."

"The leg one's healing fast… it was such an attractive shade of purple earlier, I swear." I concluded as I finished my bruise catalogue. We'd found our new home after a long afternoon of running, because Jacob wanted to be sure nobody would find us. The rickety piece of tarp generously labeled a tent had been set up with minimal trouble. Fire was another matter.

Jacob forgot the matches.

Fortunately, we discovered that Jacob's toasty temperature was very amenable to friction. And that friction was very amenable to flamage.

Petrol and matches would admittedly have worked far more efficiently, but we managed.

Well, Jacob managed.

I quickly took control of the cooking process as soon as he finished acting the caveman and making fire.

Jacob then proceeded to eat his way through enough food to feed a small village. And several large ones. And several states of America.

In Edward's absence, that only made me see the contrast between them. Edward, who never ate, and Jacob, who ate ridiculous amounts of food. Jacob, who was warm, and passionate, and rough, and Edward who was pale and cool and selfless and perfect. They were so different, so impossible to compare. How did I ever come to love them both?

"So why are the evil vampires after you this time?" Jacob asked. I jolted from my thoughts and looked over at him. He was lounging back against a tree, legs spread out before him. His eyes watched me.

Oops. I hadn't told him yet.

"Well. Remember when I went to Italy to save Edward?"

Jacob nodded.

"Well while I was there the Volturi discovered that all their powers don't work on me."

"Powers?" He asked, attempting to hide his interest…and failing.

"Reading thoughts…" I said. "Inflicting pain…" I murmured quickly, hoping he wouldn't hear.

"They can inflict pain?" Jacob exclaimed.

No such luck.

"One of them. One can." I amended. I continued quickly, hoping to distract him. "So instead of killing me, they made Alice promise to change me because they were curious about my power."

"They made Alice…" He trailed off, his face set like stone. I watched him carefully and saw him force his hands not to shake.

"Is that why you wanted him to change you? Were you afraid that…"

"No!" I interrupted. "_He_ wouldn't even accept that as a reason to change me!"

"He wouldn't?" Jacob asked, confused.

"He had about eighty plans to escape them ever finding out he hadn't changed me."

Jacob shifted awkwardly, and muttered something.

"Sorry?" I asked.

"I hate it when he does things I agree with!" He muttered slightly louder. I smiled. I was so sure they'd get along. If it wasn't for the whole mortal enemies thing. And, you know… me.

A cold breeze swept through the air and I shivered. Jacob saw. He nodded to the ground beside him. I hesitated for a moment, attempting to ignore the goose bumps on my skin. Finally I gave up and moved to his side. He dropped an arm over my shoulders. I sat stiff for a moment, feeling the warmth radiate from him skin. Before long I had relaxed against his side. It was so comfortable. His unnatural warmth spread through my body in minutes. I rested my head against his shoulder, closing my eyes. The warmth from his side, the crackling of the fire and the quiet breeze lulled me to drowsiness. I dozed off.

When I woke up, the fire was reduced to embers, crackling quietly. The stars were blocked by dark clouds. A few light spots of rain fell, threatening more to come. I turned and nudged Jacob. He woke slowly, his arm tightening around my waist as he woke. He turned to me and smiled.

I stopped breathing, and blood rushed to my face.

His hair was tousled, his face relaxed from sleep. And his smile was purely the Jacob I remembered, the Jacob from before I'd ever had to consider leaving him behind. The Jacob that was all fun and games, and relaxed spontaneity.

When he leaned towards me, I didn't think. I froze, completely immobile as his lips pressed against mine. His hands drifted to my neck as his lips moved against mine. Despite his warmth, I shivered slightly. His hands moved along my back and rested at my waist. My head was spinning. I pulled back for breath and finally realized what I was doing.

"Crap, I'm sorry!" I said, scrambling to my feet.

"Bella…"

"Why did you do that, Jake?" I asked.

"I wanted to."

"Jacob I'm MARRIED! Me and Edward aren't just any relationship you think you can break with stubbornness anymore. We're MARRIED! Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"It's a piece of paper Bells! That's all it is." Jacob argued, standing. Pain flashed in him eyes again and I almost relented. But I didn't want to do this to him. I'd never had any control over myself. Especially with this. I needed to stop this, or I was only going to hurt him more. And me. When we had to say goodbye.

"Jake, I love Edward. I love him more than I love you. I can't live without him. You have to stop this!"

"I can't, Bella." He said.

I stomped the ground in frustration. I sighed heavily.

"I'm going to bed. Goodnight." I said, turning to the tent we'd shabbily assembled. I curled up under my two blankets, shivered against the cool of the air after the fire and the space heater that was Jacob. I could see his silhouette outside the tent, still standing where I left him.

It took me hours to get to sleep. How was I supposed to leave him, when I loved him so much? When he kissed me, I didn't _want_ to pull away. I didn't want to curl up under two blankets and shiver. I wanted his warmth by my side.

A few hours of fitful dozing later, I woke to hear him enter the tent. He lay down next to me, and I felt his arm around my waist, pulling me against him.

And I fell asleep in seconds.

* * *

**Author's note:**

Hope you all liked. Please review! Now, random question for the chapter… What's your favourite type of pizza?


	12. running and sailing

**Disclaimer:** If it's yours, it's not mine.

**Author's note: **Because I KNOW I'm writing for many many Jacob fans. Enjoy!

* * *

**FINDING RESOLUTION**

_Chapter twelve: running and sailing _

"Bella wake up." Jacob whispered in my ear, shaking me slightly. I woke, opening my eyes to darkness. I bolted upright, looking around for the danger.

"Just let me find shoes and a jacket!" I yelped, leaping out of my blankets.

"Bella –"

"No jacket. Just shoes." I amended, blinking through sleep in my eyes. I pulled my shoes onto my feet on autopilot.

"Nothing's wrong Bells, I just want to show you something." Jacob said, grinning. He held up a jacket for me to shrug my arms into. I did so, looking suspiciously at him over my shoulder.

"Let's go." He whispered, taking my hand and leading me out of the tent. I followed, bewildered.

"Jacob, where - ?" I asked as he dragged me into the forest. He shook his head. I could hear his quiet laugh from up ahead. I relaxed, gave up and let him lead me. I knew that laugh. My Jacob was back.

Plus I was far too tired to form a coherent argument.

He led me patiently through the shrub along no path I could see. I clung to his hand, keeping up as well as I could. The ground sloped steadily upwards. The shrubs became interspersed with large rocks and boulders. Finally we reached what seemed like an obvious destination. Through the dull gray light of dawn's beginning, I saw a massive rock formation up ahead. Sure enough, Jacob bounded right up to the rock wall. He disappeared into a dark gap in the rocks, pulling me after him. I followed blindly, seeing nothing.

"Close your eyes." Jacob whispered.

"Why?" I asked. He didn't reply, but reached back and placed a hand over my eyes.

His other hand settled on my back, guiding me forward as I stumbled blindly.

"Sit." He murmured.

I sat, too close to sleep to argue.

I felt his warmth at my side as he sat on the rock beside me.

"Now… open." He said, removing the hand from over my eyes. I opened my eyes and promptly forgot my fatigue. The dark crevasse had opened up into a large cave, which looked out over a cliff… over miles and miles of canola fields. The sun was just rising over the horizon, and lit up the expanse of ground into a sea of gold.

"It's so pretty…" I murmured. The sun looked enormous on the horizon, a bright molten centrepiece lighting up leagues and leagues of fields into shining gold.

"I found it a while back." Jacob said. "I thought it might take your mind off… things."

I wrenched my eyes away from the breathtaking view to look at him. He was relaxed back against the wall of the cave, watching me with a smile on him face.

"I'm glad you like it." He murmured, reaching for my hand again. I reached for his hand with my own, looking back over the spectacular ocean of light before me.

"It's beautiful." I murmured. Without thinking I leaned back against him, resting my head against his chest.

But Jacob didn't try anything at all.

"I'm glad you like it." He repeated.

* * *

We didn't move until the sun was well above the horizon. Jacob shifted my waist effortlessly from his chest, and stood. He grabbed my hand once more, dragging me towards the front of the cave.

"Let's go down there!" He suggested, his face already lit with a bright smile. It was contagious. I grinned back, following as fast as he led. There was a path at the front of the cave, leading down the cliff towards the fields. Three steps down the path, Jacob stopped and turned. He held his hands out.

"May I?" He asked.

"First time you've _asked_." I pointed out, but I nodded. I buried my face into his neck to avoid becoming dizzy from the blur of movement on either side of us. When he stopped moving, I let go and dropped to my own feet, only swaying slightly. He steadied me, and moved away. I stepped into the mass of canola, and then broke into a run of my own, slightly pathetic in comparison. I felt the plants brushing past me as I run. When I fell, I landed cushioned by gold. Jacob arrived by my side, helping me up.

"Shoe." I commented, realizing that one of my shoes had fallen off when I fell. Jacob looked around briefly, then picked it up, waving it just out of reach.

"Catch me!" He said, grinning mischievously. I leapt to my feet, and lunged for the shoe. He whisked it out of my reach before I ever came close, and then danced a few steps away, moving into a slow jog away from me before pausing. I ran for a few steps, and then pulled my other shoe from my foot to stop my uneven stumble. I had enough trouble with balance without having one side slightly higher up!

I pelted after him, letting rip with a loud war cry as I did so. I knew that I wouldn't catch him… but it was fun trying. He waited for a moment for me to almost catch him, then ran in the other direction. I leapt after him and jumped on his back, wrestling the shoe from his grip before he realized what I'd done.

"Nice!" He commented. "You actually run pretty fast when you aren't falling over!"

I punched him lightly in the shoulder.

"Ow!" He yelped in over exaggerated pain, bending over and clutching his shoulder. I grabbed his arm to heft him upright. He grabbed the same arm and tossed me onto his shoulders. I shrieked in terror and clung to his head as he sprinted a dozen paces with me balanced precariously above him.

"Put me down, put me down!" I yelped between gasps of laughter and shrieks of terror. He laughed, and acquiesced. I was still panting for breath when I saw him swoop and grab my dropped shoes, and run.

"Bet you can't catch me this time!" He hollered as he ran. He was obviously not running to his full capacity – he was still visible.

"I'm not betting against that!" I bellowed, before taking off after him anyway. The wind whipped across my face as I sprinted through the bright yellow blossoms after him.

"Bet you fall over!" He called back at me.

Determined to prove him wrong, I paid close attention to the ground, hurtling ditches and obstacles as they appeared. When I glanced up again, his broad back loomed before me, pelting along away from me. Changing my war cry to an Indian battle call, I darted around him and snatched my shoes back. I put them back on my feet, grinning smugly at the astonishment in his gaze.

"You just caught me." He said in shock.

I snorted. "You weren't actually trying, though. Contrary to popular belief, I _am_ capable of basic human movement."

"Bells, I was…" Jacob reached for my hands, bewilderment on his face. "I was running as fast as I could."

I froze. My brain froze. And then promptly went into overdrive.

No human could catch Jacob at his fastest, even without fazing. And especially not me! Which could only mean that my running speed was no longer normal. Brilliant. Yet another facet of me was abnormal.

But how could that have happened? I wasn't a vampire, so how could I possibly be capable of running so fast? What the hell was going on?

"How would…?" Jacob asked, voicing my confusion.

I wasn't a vampire. I didn't have the diamond skin, or the eyes, or the perfection. And the tiny detail that blood still just didn't do it for me. And I wasn't a werewolf, for the strong obvious hint that I had not yet phased into a giant dog. So how was it possible that I could run fast enough to catch him? Or, for that matter, heal a broken arm?

As the thought occurred to me, I checked my bruises that I'd found last night.

They were every one of them gone.

"Jake what's happening?" I asked, a hint of a plea in my voice. I was tired of being confused. I didn't want to live in a constant state of bewilderment. I just wanted somebody to explain to me why these weird things kept happening so I could stop being confused!

"I don't know, Bella." Jacob said. He let go of one of my hands and led me to a small wrecked crop dusting plane that I hadn't seen. We sat side by side on a broken wing, holding hands. As soon as I sat, I realized that my legs had been shaking the whole time I'd been standing. I leaned back against the plane, pushing my hair out of the way as the wind blew the strands persistently across my face.

"Wind's picked up." Jacob commented, maybe to speak about something he could understand.

"Yeah." I agreed.

"Maybe… Maybe Billy will know." Jacob suggested after a while.

"You think?" I asked hopefully. Jacob nodded decisively.

"Billy knows all. Maybe vampire and werewolf traits are contagious." Jacob suggested.

I snorted.

"Maybe you're some hybrid species." He offered.

"Oh, shut up."

"Maybe you've been hanging around us mythical creatures for so long that you've become one."

"Let's go get lunch." I suggested, attempting to stop the flood of imaginary reasons.

Jacob's stomach rumbled loudly as if on cue.

We stood to walk back and suddenly realized how far away we were from the cliff where we'd started.

"We ran…"

"Yep."

Jacob looked wistfully back at the crashed plane. His wistful gaze turned slowly to contemplative evaluation. His eyes suddenly lit with mischief.

"Let's fly this baby back."

His mouth stretched into a wide smile, as he walked around the plane, lifting bits and examining parts.

"But it's…" I trailed off, knowing he was completely serious. "It's crashed, Jake! That does cast some doubt on its ability to fly!"

"No, wait." He said. I sighed with relief, thinking he must have developed some sense.

"Let's sail it!"

"What?"

He stopped on the other side of the wreck, looking over at me with excitement.

"It's on wheels. There's a massive piece of canvas here that we could rig for a sail, the wind's right… let's do it!"

"I am not going to sail a plane!"

* * *

"I can't believe I am doing this!" I howled as we hurtled through the canola on a wind-propelled wreckheap.

I was sitting on the plane, gripping the edges for dear life, while Jacob held one side of a large makeshift sail. The other half was tied to the plane.

"Are you having fun?" Jacob asked just as the wind picked up.

"AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

* * *

"That was fun. Can we do it again?"

* * *

**Author's note:**

Line breaks woot!

Hm. When I started I was in the mood for spontaneous fun. Oh well. Have some plot too!

Random question: how old are you, and how old do you wish you were?


	13. marbles and brainstorming

**Disclaimer:** I solemnly swear that it isn't mine.

**Acknowledgements:** To rojah, mandy and tom ansell for random questions that I needed answering in the duration of this chapter. Harrah for them!

Onwards and upwards!

* * *

**FINDING RESOLUTION**

_Chapter Thirteen: marbles and brainstorms_

* * *

"That circle is crap." Jacob commented. 

"Yeah well if _somebody_ hadn't flicked a marble clean through the tent wall, then we wouldn't have a leak and we wouldn't have had to move the circle, now would we? It would stay in its perfectly circular position in the middle of the tent, where it started."

I made an attempt at a smile to show that I wasn't as annoyed as the clip in my voice would suggest. We'd been inside this tent for four days, while outside the clouds dropped sheets of rain with no sign of easing. Four days of endless rain, of bad, tinned food and freezing cold. Four days of no Edward, of confusion, of arguments.

We were a little bit testy.

"Will you just – the edge there with – "

"Jacob, I am perfectly capable of making a circle out of string. I'm no Michelangelo, but circles, I can do."

Well to be fair, Jacob was slightly more irritable than I was. Super strength, spectacular speed and killer reflexes didn't do much for a game of marbles. My terrible aim and puny strength would never match his… but at least I managed to get the marbles inside the circle. His endless losing streak was souring his mood.

"Done." I said, leaning back and observing my masterpiece. Perfectly circular, I didn't know what he was on about.

"You're pretty happy with yourself, aren't you?" Jacob teased.

Ignoring the bait, I nodded and started setting up the stones that we were blithely passing off as marbles to fill in time.

Three wins later, I had possession of every stone – and twenty bucks, courtesy of an overconfident bet at the start of the game. Jacob was even crabbier than he had been to start with.

"Face it, Jacob. Marbles just isn't your game." I teased. Half of me wanted to crow at my success, and half of me sympathized. After all, it couldn't be too often that the werewolf beta lost a game of anything, let alone to a weakling like me.

"The grounds on a bit of slant." He said, glancing at the circle at my feet. I eyed the ground. Perfectly level.

"Sure." I said, going along with it. I could only expect the male ego to hold so much pain. I became aware of silence outside the tent.

"Do you hear that?" I asked.

"What?" Jacob asked, looking up. I could practically see his ears tune in to his surroundings.

"I can hear… absolutely nothing." He concluded.

"Exactly. There is no sound!" I said happily, standing up.

"Ookay, Simon… Garfunkel." He said, watching me warily.

"The rain's stopped!" I said, unzipping the tent and walking outside into a world of dull gray. The ground was covered in puddles, and trees glistening from the water droplets their leaves held. The sky was a dull gray of rain clouds. So, it wasn't sunshine…. At least it wasn't raining!

Jacob wasn't too far behind me. I turned to face him, a wide smile stretching across my face.

"I feel the sudden urge to jump in puddles." I said mischievously, my eyes shining.

Jacob looked ready to tell me not to, then he thought about it.

"Take your shoes off first." He recommended, pulling his own off his feet as he spoke. I kicked my shoes into the tent and threw my socks in after. Then I turned and made loud whooping noises as I ran and jumped into a large puddle on the other side of the clearing. I jumped again, landing in a deep puddle nearby and splashing water all over me. The cool was somewhat refreshing after sweating it out in a tent with the human fire that was Jacob. I turned, grinning to see Jacob slack-jawed and staring at me.

"You're catching flies," I teased, kicked water over him. He didn't move.

"What's wrong?" I asked, moving towards him. My stomach started to spasm. That look was the look he'd had after I'd woken after a vampire bite unharmed. The same look of bewilderment and shock that he had worn when I had ran faster than he could.

He opened his mouth to speak and took a few tried before words came out.

"You just jumped ten metres in the air."

* * *

"GAH!" I shouted in frustration. I kicked the water that I stood in, taking out my annoyance on nature. It splashed around me, but didn't manage the effect I wanted. I wanted to break things. I wanted to see things collide, and smash. I wanted destruction. Maybe if I hit something, maybe if my frustration could be let out on _something_, then I wouldn't be confused anymore. Maybe I wouldn't be so ridiculously bewildered. Maybe everything would go back to normal and I would stop doing weird freakish things that couldn't be explained to make any sort of sense. 

Maybe Edward might arrive at the sound, fearing for my safety, and explain away my freakish speed, my rapid healing and my jumping ability.

I had no such luck. Instead, Jacob appeared by my side, pulling me into a hug as it started to rain again.

"Come on, get out of the rain." He said, guiding me inside the tent again. I took one last look around outside, then followed him into the confinement of the tent once more.

"Let's brainstorm here." He suggested as we sat down again. "Maybe we can come up with a reason."

"Like what?" I asked, picking up the stones that I'd previously won from marbles and starting to arrange them in patterns on the ground.

"What can you do? What's different?" He suggested, ignoring my depressed tone.

"I can jump freakishly high. I can run weirdly fast. I can heal myself really fast… My cells are doing something weird according to Carlisle..."

"Your eyes are lighter than they used to be." Jacob noted. I wrinkled my nose, remembering the argument we'd had when he'd first noticed that. We were both silent for a moment, wracking our brains for any explanation that didn't sound insane.

"I feel like I should know this." Jacob complained eventually.

I sighed and lay down on my back, trying to think. I felt a throb of pain in my back and sat back up.

"My back hurts." I said in surprise.

"Show me." Jacob ordered. I rolled my eyes and turned around, lifting my shirt. I felt his warm fingers on my back and shivered. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to cover it as cold. I shrugged away and turned to face him, dropping my shirt. His face had dropped into a confident smirk – I hadn't fooled him.

"What up with my back?" I asked to change the subject.

The confident smirk disappeared as he shrugged his shoulders in confusion.

"No idea. It's a bit red across your shoulder blades." He said. "Are you allergic to something?"

"Not that I know of…" I said, thinking hard. I gave up before seconds had the opportunity to pass. It would heal by tomorrow anyway.

"I wouldn't put it past you to spontaneously develop allergies… to, say, air."

"Shush, you. You're supposed to be figuring out an explanation."

"I'll get right on that."

"Good."

* * *

He didn't find an explanation. 

Either did I.

We had dinner – more tinned food.

We still had no idea.

The sun set and we both crawled into bed. It felt perfectly normal for his arm to wrap around my waist as we slept. His warmth radiated from his skin. I fell into a heavy sleep in the heady heat and comfort of his arms.

* * *

"Bella, _Bella,_ wake up!" 

I bolted upright. Jacob towered over me, excitement lighting his eyes. I felt the warmth from his arms wrapped tightly around my arms.

"What?" I whispered.

"I figured it out! I know what's happening to you!"

* * *

**Authors note:**

_Important stuff:_

Oookay, I am stealing an idea from a fellow writer, and I am now saying that I shalt not update until I have at least TEN reviews for this chapter. You can do it! Purple button guys!

_Me rambling:_

And I promise the next chapter will be up faster than this one. I am finished school!! That's it NO MORE LEARNING!!! insert loud whooping noises here

And while I'm on loud whooping, I am officially THRILLED that Mr Johnny Howard got ousted. No offence to America, but I'm over having a prime minister whose head is halfway up George Bush's arse. Go Ruddy! Bring on the environmental movement!


	14. life the universe and everything

**Disclaimer:** I mean no breach of copyright that I may have done (cough DID DO cough)

* * *

**FINDING RESOLUTION**

_Chapter Fourteen: life, the universe and everything_

* * *

"What is it? What am I? What's happening? Tell me!" 

"You're one of the Dhian!" He said, excitement in his voice.

I thought hard, straining the cogs of my brain… nope. I still had absolutely no idea what he was talking about.

"The _what?_"

"The – oh that's right, you fell asleep when Billy told the story."

Jacob released my arms and sat back down. I could just see his outline through the dark.

"What was the story?" I asked, crossing my legs and pulling the blanket over myself.

"It was some of the history of the wolves – when they first discovered that there was packs in other parts of the world as well. More than us, that is. The point is, the story mentioned another group called the Dhian that appeared when there were werewolves AND vampires present in an area for any prolonged amount of time. They were another species completely, swift, intelligent… short." He asked, ruffling my hair.

"I am not short." I yelped in indignation, unconsciously not acknowledging the other information he had shared.

"Vertically challenged." He amended, changing the subject quickly. "I don't know much of their history, but I know they had a truce with the wolves… and another one with the Cold Ones. They were… the mythical equivalent of Switzerland."

I smiled at the irony of his using my own example against me. "So… neutral?"

"Yeah. Although, just like Switzerland, the main reason there was never a war with them was because everybody was afraid of them."

"Why?"

"They were deadly. Fast, strong, cunning, intelligent. And, they could fly, so even IF you managed to hurt them, they'd run away far more effectively than you could chase them."

"And you think I'm one of them?" I asked with doubt. I might be fast, but I wasn't strong. I wasn't intelligent or cunning or anything else he mentioned. And I sure as hell couldn't fly.

"You've been exposed to vampires and werewolves for ages. You're faster then me, Bella. You can leap into the air ridiculously high like they could. You can heal, like they could. The marks on your back… you're growing wings Bella! You'll be able to fly! _Just like they could!_"

I was growing wings? I reached an arm behind me and ran my hand along my back. Across my shoulder blades, my skin had started to swell and pucker.

"But – " I wracked my brain, trying to find a reason for why this wouldn't be true.

"The Dhain always said that they take time to develop their talents." Jacob said, continuing with his convincing monologue. "You've done the same. You were never afraid of us, you were always on a different level to the people around you… It's because of this! You're one of the Dhain."

I was being convinced despite my best attempts. If this was true… It would be so perfect. I could defend myself. I could heal myself whenever I did something stupid and hurt myself. I wouldn't always have to wonder why I didn't fit with other humans. I wasn't one to begin with!

And I could fly… That'd be hard to explain to Charlie.

"This is so great…" I whispered. "Are you sure?"

"It fits, Bella." Jacob said simply.

I smiled widely, my brain processing overtime. I could almost feel the steam produced from my mental overload. I couldn't think of anything bad about his development. It felt like the first time in a long time that fate had given me a break.

"There is a third mythical creature." I marveled.

"And you're one of them."

"Hey, how come I'm not a _recognizable_ mythical creature? You guys feature in Hollywood, why don't I?" I complained.

"You do."

"I do?"

"Yeah. You have several different names, Hollywood got confused, like always."

"What am I then?"

"An elf, a fairy, a dwarf… told you, lots of names."

"I'm an elf? But I don't have pointy ears…" I said, feeling my ears.

I finally registered the last one he said.

"I am NOT that short!" I insisted.

"Sure, sure." He agreed good-naturedly.

I ignored him, and flopped back down, careful not to land on my back.

"Another mythical creature…. Hey, do you think Santa Claus is real?"

* * *

**Authors note:**

Thank you so much for the reviews!!! I really appreciate it! So in light of my appreciation, I am adding this chapter quite swiftly if I do say so myself.

Also, if nobody got the Simon & Garfunkel reference in the previous chapter, they are behind the creation of the song "the sounds of silence" hope that makes sense. Clever huh? Don't worry, I didn't think of it.

AAAAAAAAAND seeing as how the response to the last chapter was so fantastic I am now requesting 15 reviews!! That's right FIFTEEN!! And I won't update until I get at least close to that number! I have faith in the system…. Partly because my stats bar tells me I can easily manage fifteen.

And partly because I do so love reviews. Make me happy!

Go forth and multiply!


	15. hinges and time

**Disclaimer:** I officially declare non-ownership of all that follows.

**Authors Note:** I wrote this while tired, so my apologies for how much Bella has lapsed into half me, half Lorelei Gilmore.

Also, sorry about that lack of synchronisation with the chapter names I couldn't pick one, so I used both.

* * *

**FINDING RESOLUTION**

_Chapter Fifteen: fif and teen_

My first view when I woke was the blue tarp that made up the walls of our tent. I sighed heavily and rolled out of bed. I never thought that a colour, a texture, could become so utterly boring. We'd been here for a week and a half. I was sick of it. I wanted a shower, not a wash with a bucket of water. I wanted to sit inside a solid building that didn't shake and rattle with the wind, and leak when it rained. I wanted to wake up to see any sight that wasn't blue tarp, symbolizing yet another day cooped up in the outdoor prison that the tent had become. More than anything, I missed Edward. I missed the feel of his cool breath on my skin. I missed his intoxicating scent. I missed his smooth voice, and his marble arms around me when we slept.

"We've been here too LONG." I complained loudly.

My only response was a snore from Jacob's direction.

I crawled out the tent, lamenting the need for a zip. What I wouldn't give for hinges. You don't truly appreciate hinges until you have to live in a tent for a week and a half.

I grabbed the shovel and the toilet roll from the ground and stumbled into the bush in search of the hole we used as a toilet. I muttered the whole way about the lack of appreciation for actual toilets. With a _toilet seat,_ and a toilet roll attached to the wall instead of living in a plastic bag. I was quite willing to give up my left big toe to be able to have another argument with Emmett about leaving the toilet seat up, if only I could actually _have_ a toilet seat. Almost a century of training, and he still didn't put the seat down.

When I shoveled dirt into the hole, I admired the name etched into the side of the shovel. 'Doug.' Truly, the best possible name for a shovel. Ironic, monosyllabic, entertaining. But what good was a fantastic name for a shovel when there were no _people_ to appreciate it?

I stalked back to the clearing, imagining people's faces. Any people. Just any face but Jacob's, the one and only face I had seen for a week and a half.

"What's up?" Jacob asked, his head emerging from the tent in time to see me arrive back from the makeshift dunny.

"Would you consider face reconstruction?" I asked him mildly.

He blinked slowly and shook his head in bewilderment.

"Is it just me, or is time taking _longer_ than it should? It feels like we've been here for a month! Look at the sun!!" I ranted, looking up at the sun, which was moving ridiculously slowly across the sky. "It's supposed to be over there by now!"

"Yes Bella." He said dryly. "The sun has actually slowed down, just to shit you."

"You know, when I'm venting," I advised, "all you need to do is nod and smile. Input, not necessary."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Nobody appreciates hinges as much as they should." I informed him, poking the remnants of the fire from last night with a large stick. Jacob took the hint and start pilling twigs and leaves to start fire.

"Right." He agreed.

I sat down heavily, inwardly lamenting the lack of chairs.

"I want to go home, Jake." I said.

"You can't." He said apologetically.

"I know." I acknowledged reluctantly, wrapping my arms around my waist. My raw wound in my stomach didn't hurt, like it had when Edward left. It didn't feel raw or bloody. But it felt weak. It felt like part of me was missing… the physical manifestation of the absence I felt when Edward wasn't with me.

Jacob noticed.

"He's like a drug." He complained. "When will you realize he's bad for you?"

A drug. It seemed appropriate, I supposed. The pain in my stomach could be attributed to withdrawal symptoms. My love for him, attributed to addiction. But it wasn't that. He wasn't a drug… he was only perfect. Perfect in every way, so that it felt as if the world was diminished because he wasn't around. It was somewhat similar to when car headlights are dimmed. The world was just slightly less light, less vibrant than it was before.

But more than that, I simply missed him being there. The simple things, his touch, his smell. His uncanny ability to be exactly what I needed. To know what I wanted before I knew it.

I missed the way I felt when I was around him. He made me feel like I was beautiful, interesting, entertaining. I felt safe, protected. Loved. Understood. Slightly dizzy.

"I miss him, Jacob. Is that so hard to understand?"

"Yes." He grumbled.

* * *

"It hasn't moved." I grumbled. Jacob and I were lying in the sunshine, a rarity anywhere near Forks. The sun's rays had nothing on the heat that radiated from Jacob, but being outside of the tent was a blessing. I was watching the sun warily, trying to catch it out. It was in exactly the same position it had been for the last few hours, and I was positive it hadn't moved all day. 

"Sure it has." Jacob disagreed cheerfully. "It's slightly more west that it was an hour ago."

"You're only saying that because that's what it's supposed to do." I complained.

"Are you suggesting that the sun has stopped moving?" Jacob asked, rolling over on his side to face me.

"…Maybe." I said.

As if to prove that the sunlight was too good to be true, a chilly breeze swept through the clearing. I shivered, and rolled to curl up by Jacob. It took little time for his heat to spread to me. I leant my head against his chest and shut my eyes.

I woke, rested, a while later, to hear Jacob's voice.

"Hey sleepyhead."

I blinked the sleep out my eyes and looked up at him.

"Seeing as how we're sleeping together…" Jacob joked, his eyebrows rising suggestively. "Care to, you know, sleep together?"

"That's called adultery! Which is illegal in multiple states. One of which is this one."

"Well, actually," Jacob amended, "We're in a different state. How do you know their marriage legislation?"

"I know copious amounts of useless information. How do you know what I do or do not know?" I retorted.

He murmured something incoherent in response.

I looked up at the sky. Then I looked around the horizon and looked up again.

"GAH! It's moved BACKWARDS!"

* * *

**Authors note:**

I am re-instating the fifteen reviews/update threat. And to those that are lazy and thought somebody else would do it… they didn't!! So hit that purple button!

Didn't quite hit my fifteen there, but because a lot of randoms spontaneously reviewed, I'm posting this anyway. Thank you to randoms!!! Thank you to faithfuls!!! And a jihad on the other 50 people who read and didn't review to say hello to little old me.

Hoorah for cheap M&M's and so long and thanks for all the fish.

Your challenge... should you choose to accept... is to tell me where the fish quote came from. NO GOOGLING, YAHOOING OR OTHER INTERNET BASED CHEATING!!

oh, and tell me who went on a googlewhack adventure.

ox


	16. records and stuff

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything that belongs to Stephanie Meyer.

**Authors note:** I would say I'm sorry for the lateness, but if i had've written anything earlier it would've been dodgy, so enjoy the hopefully not-dodgy! Lateness and all!

* * *

**FINDING RESOLUTION**

_**Chapter seven:** world records and stuff_

I twisted into a somersault almost before I hit the ground, rolling and rising to stand in one smooth motion. The maneouvre had only become so smooth after multiple less graceful landings.

"Eighteen metres. Congratulations. You just beat your record. And in doing so, you just beat the crap out of every record ever made." My eyes moved immediately upwards, to Jacob's miniscule form, perched in a tree over thirty metres high. He swung down from the tree, grasping each branch with one hand and finally dropping into a squat by my side. This maneouvre had also been perfected by practice over the course of the day.

"Including," He pointed out, "The ones where people use a large pole to throw themselves in the air."

The enormity of this was not lost on me. It simply dimmed in comparison to other things of greater enormity.

Such as werewolves, vampires and elves actually existing.

Such as my newly discovered ability to heal before my eyes. Just today I had broken six ankles, five arms and a collarbone. I had fallen from 20 metres or higher, countless times.

I bore not a single scratch.

"I still don't understand why you can't do any of this with shoes on." Jacob mused.

Such as that.

We'd been at this for two days, trying to find out what I could do,

I could jump 25 metres. I could heal in seconds. I was stronger than Jacob. I was faster than Jacob human and slower than Jacob in wolf form.

I could do none of this unless I was barefoot. It was decidedly odd.

Jacob and I walked back to the cleaning. Sticks and leaves left cuts on my bare feet that healed as fast as they formed.

"What do you reckon, time to stop?" He asked as we emerged in our home away from home. "Before we break the world record for world records broken?"

He flopped down onto the grass, stretching out under the cloudy sky. The maneouvre was oddly graceful. It seemed impossible that his size didn't diminish the smooth fluidity of his movements. But he moved as if he were born solid and large.

I stretched out beside him, looking up at the clouds. I could remember me and Renee lying in our backyard in a similar position, finding shapes in the rare clouds of Phoenix. My eyes drifted over the sky, my imagination immediately jumping to the familiar game.

"Look!" I said, pointing, "it almost looks like a dragon!"

"Almost?" Jacob asked, grinning and raising his eyebrows. As in if you forget that it needs legs and tilt your head to the side and squint?"

"Shush, you." I scolded. "There, on its own. It has a long spiny tail and there's the fire it spat…"

"Where?" Jacob scoffed. He shuffled closer, his gaze following where my arm pointed out into the sky.

"There."

"Where?"

"_There!_ The bit that looks like a dragon!"

"Oh!" He said. "I think I see it…"

He strained closer, then moved swiftly, before I could duck out of reach, his hands tickling the skin under my arms. I yelped loudly and tucked my arms by the sides.

"I've got you now!" Jacob teased, running his fingertips over my skin. I tried hard to restrain laughter, and failed. My ill restrained giggles egged him on.

I gave up on protecting myself from his tickle attack and settled for revenge instead. I reached up to his undefended torso.

His laughter filled the air as he rolled away, his arms protecting himself instinctively. I followed him as he rolled away, taking advantage of my rare upper hand. I wrapped my hands around his arms, holding them by his sides to keep them away from me.

"Give up?" I spoke through heavy breathing, my heartrate boosted by our brief wrestling match.

"I surrender, I surrender!" He said quickly.

"Sure you do." I agreed good-naturedly, not releasing his arms.

I realized then how close we were. Apart from where my hands gripped his skin, there was about a handspan between him and me. I felt my heart rate speed up again, felt the blood thump through my veins. I wanted more than anything to close that small distance and feel his bones against mine. Almost on its own, my hand moved from his arm across his warm skin towards his neck, and then to his face. My fingers traced his features, his rough warm skin. He shivered, and closed his eyes, not moving.

I brushed my lips softly against his, and instantly gave up on keeping distance. The voice in my head telling me to stop was silenced. I wanted him.

I leaned closer to kiss him properly.

He stayed still and neutral, carefully not responding. But despite his surprising attempt at control, one of his hands wrapped around the back of my head, as if to make sure I wouldn't pull away.

The other hand rested on my back. The small space between us closed as he pulled me hard against him.

I pulled away slightly, then cupped his face with my hands and kissed him again. My brain felt fuzzy and my heart raced.

I heard him groan quietly and he gave up the little control he still had. His grip on my head tightened and he kissed me back.

Hard.

My hands moved from his face to his neck, to his broad shoulders and back again. His skin was burning hot.

We broke apart after a few moments, both breathing hard.

Then our eyes met again. His eyes were full of love, and longing. I wondered for a moment what my eyes were communicating to him, then forgot as our lips met again.

It wasn't a chaste kiss. It wasn't a kiss where he was persuading me to feel what he felt.

Any control we'd had was gone. I wanted him. I loved him. He felt the same. It was a kiss of all the pent-up love and desire we'd felt for a long time.

Jacob pushed me away from him abruptly. He stood, dragging me up with him. He looked determinedly in the other direction as he set me aside. I shivered from the sudden cold at the absence of his heat to warm me.

"What's wrong? What…?" I wrapped my arms around my waist, feeling abandoned.

"Wait, you'll see." Jacob said, an odd, unfamiliar note in his voice.

I waited.

My brain felt numb. My stomach churned. And then I heard it. Edward's music voice said my name softly from behind me.

"Bella."

I turned to see him emerge from the trees across the clearing, moving from sprint to standstill in a second's grace.

My emotions were in turmoil. The love and the longing for Jacob were there, only slightly dampened by the effective distraction that was Edward.

But at the same time, I felt as if someone has just changed my vision to colour when I'd only before seen in black and white. His presence made everything seems brighter, safer, more beautiful. His ethereal beauty held me entranced, his skin reflecting light from the sun that had appeared from behind the clouds. I felt a wave of love for him that shadowed everything I felt for Jacob.

"Edward!" I whispered. I ran across the clearing, and he broke into a smooth run towards me. We slowed to a walk as we closed the distance between us, and then to a stop when we stood barely a foot apart. Then his arms wrapped around my waist, and mine around him, and my head rested perfectly against he smooth skin of his neck.

It was like two parts of one whole were back together.

My emotions calmed. A part of me that had been missing, extinguished while he was gone, was now replaced. The joy of reunion blindsided every other emotion I had been grappling with.

This was… perfect.

"I missed you." I told him. His arms tightened around me.

"Bella I missed you too. You have _no_ idea." His musical whisper drifted across my ear. I shivered at his touch, his words.

He misinterpreted, and tried to pull away, concern in his eyes.

"Don't you dare." I warned. I reached up and pulled his face down to mine. He acquiesced.

Mm.

Bliss.

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**Apologies:**

Sorry for not replying all of the reveiws, but thanks for everyone who did reveiw! I appreciate it!

Sorry also for not explaining everything completely. I did have one person ask why she's can't go home, what with the immortality and all - that'll be explained next chappie i promise!!

* * *

Motivate me, make my day! Please reveiw! 

And random question for the moment... has anyone actually eaten spam? Or know anyone who has eaten spam?


	17. elvis

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything that has any reference to Twilight or any of the books that follow.

**FINDING RESOLUTION**

_Chapter Seventeen: A Little Bit of Conversation, A Little Arm Wrestling Please_

* * *

It wasn't long before the questions started.

"Where have you been? Why did you take so long?" I asked.

Edward pulled away from me far enough to sit down. My skin felt strange where it no longer touched him, as if there were some extension of me that was missing. Edward apparently shared similar feelings, because he pulled me down next to him and wrapped his arms around me.

Jacob disappeared into the woods.

"What's wrong with your back? Did you hurt yourself?" Edward asked, running his hands over the abnormal growths on the skin of my back.

"Did the Volturi believe you?"

"Did you…" Edward trailed off. His face was carefully controlled. But I could see in his eyes that he was ill at ease. He shifted slightly, a rare difference from his normal perfect stillness.

"Did you and Jacob…" he trailed off again.

"No. No we didn't." said Jacob, striding back into the clearing. "Believe it or not, I do _not_ jump your wife every time I see her."

I saw relief cross Edward's face, as well as an odd bewildered look. Jacob raised his eyebrows at him.

"Thank you Jacob." Edward said politely. "May I ask why you are reciting the periodic table in your head?"

"That's the only thing you can hear then?" Jacob asked eagerly.

"While you're concentrating." Edward acknowledged, tipping his head.

"I think we're missing the point here." I interrupted. "Volturi…?"

"They believed my lie. They then opted to stay and speak with Carlisle, hence the delay. Your back?"

"I'm growing wings."

"…what?"

"She's growing wings." Jacob said, reveling in Edward's confusion.

"We have… news." I said. Edward nodded and waited patiently, his expression calm.

"Weird stuff has been happening lately, like my weird healing, and I can run really fast, and… you know, wings. Jacob figured it out. I'm one of the Dhian."

Recognition lit in Edwards face.

"Of course…" He said softly. His golden eyes looked out into the distance, unfocused. I wondered what he was thinking.

"You know of them?" Jacob asked.

"Better. I know them. I met some of their… _your_ kind years ago." Edward said. His eyes had focused now. He was staring at me with wonder, and excitement.

"You're immortal." He said, smiling. The beauty of the joy on his face took my breath away for a moment, and I looked away to regain my use of oxygen.

"Can we go home now?" I asked.

"Yes."

I smiled happily. Home. Solid walls. A bathroom. Proper food. Edward…

"I still don't understand why I couldn't go home before." I grumbled glaring at Jacob. Both guys froze suddenly.

"No." Edward said.

"No. Not while the Volturi were there." Jacob said, his eyes dark.

"But _why?_"

"Because the Volturi were there." Jacob hedged.

"Edward?" I asked, looking up at him. Jacob and I had had this conversation countless times before.

"The Volturi don't really like the Dhian." He said. I picked up on the major understatement in his tone.

"What about the truce?" I asked Jacob.

"The rest of the Dhian haven't found you yet. They can kill you and the Dhian will never know." Jacob explained reluctantly, glaring at Edward.

"See, here's why I'm confused. I'm immortal. _Can_ they even kill me?" I asked, confused.

"And _this_ is why I wasn't going to tell her. Nice going, bloodsucker." Jacob grumbled, pacing back and forth in the clearing.

"Technically, no." Edward said, avoiding my eyes.

"Technically, no?" I asked. Maybe if I asked enough questions, they'd cave in.

"We cannot protect her from everything, Jacob." Edward said. His tight grip on me suggested that he felt otherwise, despite his words.

"She doesn't need to know _that._" Jacob complained.

"Tell me!" I ordered.

"They would capture you and store you, so to speak." Edward explained with deliberate vagueness.

"Store?"

"They would pressurize your body and store the compact result in stone to prevent rejuvenation." Edward said. I sighed heavily. I supposed his easy cave in was really too good to be true. He was clearly avoiding me knowing this.

"And… Jacob, can you translate that?" I asked.

"They would use massive stone blocks to crush you into oblivion, and then put you in a stone box for the rest of eternity so you can't heal yourself." Jacob explained bitterly.

"Oh." I said. I blinked slowly. I could understand now why they were protecting me from knowing this. My feeling of invincibility faded immediately, and I felt fear for myself, something I hadn't felt ever since I'd discovered I was immortal. They were right in making me stay.

"So… they're definitely gone?" I asked weakly. Edward's arms tightened protectively around me.

"Yes. I made sure before I came to find you."

"Can we go home now?"

* * *

I could run faster than the wind. When I ran, now, everything I went past became a blur. But even with such speed, I had no chance of keeping up with Edward. Instead, he held me on his back to carry me home. I felt like motion sickness could no longer touch me. Nonetheless, I closed my eyes tight and buried my face in his neck.

His movement was so smooth that we might not have been moving, except that the wind whipped my skin. The trip that had taken Jacob and me all day took us less than an hour today. I wrapped my arms around Edward and hoped I would never have to move.

Despite my hopes, we did eventually arrive. I climbed off Edward's back. My legs cramped at first. Then my freakish healing kicked in, and the pain faded.

Jacob was still in wolf form. His eyes watched me warily. He seemed almost hesitant.

"Goodbye Jacob." Edward said politely. He hesitated for a moment, and then added, "for future reference, beryllium comes before boron."

I thought I saw a scowl on the face that wasn't quite Jacob's. Edward stepped back, smiling, and let me say my goodbyes.

"See you around." I said, hugging him. His body was even hotter as a wolf, his scent stronger. The hesitancy in his eyes faded as I moved close.

"You will, he said." Edward murmured.

I stepped back slightly. His head lowered to my level and I lost my train of thought as I stared into his eyes. Even when the rest of his body had changed, his eyes were still Jacob. He lifted one giant paw slowly, watching me carefully. When I didn't run away, he ruffled my hair. I yelped in complaint, and covered my head protectively with my arms as Jacob turned away. He disappeared into the forest in seconds. His scruffy brown coat camouflaged perfectly in the surroundings.

Edward and I walked slowly back to the house. His cold hand locked around mine.

"He was worried you would be afraid, or repulsed." Edward murmured.

"I'm not." I said honestly.

Alice appeared at the door before we had the chance to open it.

"Show off." Edward muttered as she gestured us inside.

"Come in, come in, there are bets and arguments to settle!" She said impatiently, bobbing up and down slightly as she waited for us to pass. She placed a hand on each of our backs and pushed us into the lounge room. Jasper was leaning against the wall, arms crossed and scowling. Everybody else bar Carlisle was lounged on a couch. I assumed Carlisle was at the hospital.

"Emmett, you first, I insist." Jasper drawled. Emmett shrugged and knelt in front on the coffee table, looking up at me.

"What's up…?" I asked, walking slowly and ignoring Alice's nudge.

"I told them your news. They want to see who's stronger." Alice explained briefly, pushing me forward. Emmett stretched his arms out then rested his elbow on the table in classic arm wrestle style.

I blinked.

"First to hold for a count of three, or first to touch table?" Emmett asked. He seemed entirely serious for the first time since my wedding. Apparently strength was _important._

"Touch table?" I said uncertainly. I knelt dubiously in front of the table and rested my elbow on the table, trying to mimic Emmett's pose. His hand gripped mine tightly.

"One, two, _three!_" Alice counted. Emmett's arm immediately tried to force mine to the table. My new strength took over. I pushed back, muscles straining. Emmett's face screwed up in concentration as I slowly forced his arm back. The instant the back of his hand touched the table, Alice called out my name. Apparently she was umpire of these odd games. I released his hand like a hot potato, surprised at my own strength.

It was beyond pin drop volume in the room. I had never heard such dead silence. I looked around, suddenly nervous of their reactions.

Everybody was staring at me, their expressions ranging from surprise to open shock.

"Emmett, ten to Esme." Alice ordered finally, breaking the ringing silence. She was in her element, bossing people around. She was the only one to have regained composure; after all, it was no surprise to Alice.

Emmett reluctantly handed a note to Esme. Everybody was still staring at me. I looked at my feet.

"Look, I _told_ you she was strong." Alice complained.

"You're right." Rosalie said, recovering. "Hey, maybe this will deflate Emmett's swelled head enough that he won't have to turn sideways to get through doors anymore!"

"Maybe we won't have to worry about Bella quite so much anymore." Esme said, smiling apologetically at me.

"Maybe it's Jasper's turn!" Alice said in sing-song.

"Pfft, as if he stands a chance." Rosalie muttered.

She was right. Jasper lost. So did Rosalie and Esme.

Alice forfeited.

"Edward, your turn." I said, turning to where he stood silently behind me. He smirked confidently.

"Ten says you lose." Emmett announced. He'd recovered from his rare loss, and had quickly regained his sense of humour.

"Twenty says I win." Edward replied immediately. They shook hands solemnly.

Edward took up the vacated position on the other side of the coffee table. Emmett started a drum roll as we locked hands.

"One, two, _three!_"

My hand pushed his towards the table, his arm offering little resistance. I looked up and saw him smirking at me.

"You're going down." He murmured. I raised my eyebrows.

Just before his hand hit the table he leaned over the table and kissed me.

My head spun. My heart rate did something really strange.

And Edward took advantage of my weakness and forced my arm to the table.

"Dear brother," he said to Emmett, leaning back and flashing a beautiful smile at me, "I believe you owe me twenty dollars."

* * *

**Author's note:**

Thankyou as always to my reviewers, you are the reason I haven't abandoned this a million times already. Make my day, readers! Review!

And sorry if there are typos, I checked it three times, but I always miss something when Mandy isn't online to check it for me.

Random question: WHAT IS ALFALFA?????

By the way, I've been informed that spam is best cut up small, fried and mixed with scrambled eggs. See? This can be an educational experience for us all.


	18. music and music

**Disclaimer:** I don't anything from any of Stephanie Meyer's books, and I mean no offence by any of the thievery I have done.

* * *

**FINDING RESOLUTION**

_Chapter Eighteen: Music and… Music_

I felt a strong sense of triumph as I placed the last of my music collection into Edward's complex filing system. Edward responded to my proud grin with a smile of his own. It was so easy to forget the effect he could have on me simply by smiling. The beauty of it surprised me anew, and took my breath away, along with all coherent thoughts. I looked away, to give my brain a chance at functioning normally. My eyes fell on one last cd, one I'd given up on finding a place for. I reached for it now.

Edward beat me to it. He moved from the couch to my side in one blindingly swift motion, and picked up the cd before my hands reached it.

"I know where this should go." He murmured. The sunlight from the window hit his pale fingers as he moved the disc from its case to the player. The light from his diamond skin was brighter than the light the disc reflected from the sun.

I closed my eyes as the familiar melody of my lullaby filled the room.

"It's my favourite song." I admitted.

"It's better live." He replied, an odd note in his voice. His hands pulled me to my feet, surprising my eyes open.

"Wha…- "

"Downstairs," he said in limited explanation. I followed him, catching his enthusiasm. He transferred the grip on my hand to my waist as he sat at the beautiful grand piano.

I sat beside him when his grip tightened in silent communication.

His fingers moved across the keys, bringing to life the same music that had been playing in his room.

"Here, I'll teach you." He said, reaching for my hands. His smile almost silenced my momentary panic.

"I can't play that!" I said doubtfully.

"I'll teach you something else then." He evaded smoothly. He played a few notes I recognized dimly as the beginning of chopsticks.

"I'll embarrass myself." I said, holding my hands back from the keys. Blood rushed to my face as I tried to imagine my coordination trying to reconcile with music.

"Nobody's here." He whispered into my ear. I shivered. He smiled, pleased.

"Stop that." I instructed, reluctantly reached forward.

"What must I stop?" He asked in surprise.

"Being so proud of yourself." I told him, smiling.

I copied the notes he'd played. He showed me the notes that followed, and I played them too. When he'd taught me the whole song through, I tried to play it by myself, with Edward whispering encouragements in my ear. I hit the wrong notes a few times, and forgot what was next once or twice. But with each mistake, instead of blushing and giving up, I laughed instead. Edward laughed with me, and patiently corrected what I did wrong. The lounge room eventually filled with the uplifting music and our laughter. Edward joined in on the other half of the piano, making the happy tune turn into a masterpiece of music.

I smiled happily as we stopped. The piano still rang with the last notes.

I played my part once more, addicted to my limited ability.

Edward ran his fingers up and down my waist.

I hit the wrong note.

The dysfunctional noise rang between us as I turned to him.

"You're being distracting." I informed him.

"Am I?" He asked innocently. He turned back to the piano keys. His hand moved my fingers to the right starting note. I tried hard to conceal my shiver at his touch. I guessed from his badly hidden smile that I hadn't succeeded. As I played, he joined in, swelling my basic notes into a melody once more.

I didn't notice his hand leave the piano until it rested on my leg and made small patterns on my skin.

I jumped, and hit a wrong note again.

"Is that distracting too?" He asked, his eyes dancing. "What about this?"

His cool hand tangled in my hair as he pulled my face toward his. The piano fell silent as our attention changed focus.

"Extremely distracting." I said, pulling away, panting for breath.

"I'm glad." He said.

And he pulled me back.

* * *

"Alice and Jasper are on their way home." Edward said, dropping to his feet on the floor. I leapt to reach my clothes, where they'd been discarded earlier. The quick movement made me dimly aware of a dull ache in my legs. I smiled in satisfaction, remembering what we'd been doing to create that particular ache.

"Where did they go anyway?" I asked as I pulled my top on as quickly as I could. It hadn't occurred to me to wonder earlier; being distracted by far more entertaining preoccupations.

"There's going to be a storm tonight. They went to prepare for the game." Edward explained. He seemed to be having no trouble forming coherent sentences. It irritated me somewhat that he could do that. His expression was calm and still, another thing I envied. I had a sneaking suspicion that the expression on my face was still reflecting the satisfaction I was feeling.

I pulled my thoughts from my envy as I realized that I'd been watching Edward dress, instead of dressing myself. My envy immediately changed to appreciation.

I had trouble breathing when I looked at his _face_ for too long. This particular view was almost heart stopping. It was a colossal tribute that I ever bothered to look at his face.

He turned and caught me, and smiled at the blush that rushed up my face. My breath hitched, and I remembered exactly why I struggled to keep my eyes from his face so often. Without a word, he reached to fix the buttons I'd unsuccessfully tried to do myself. A self-satisfied smile settled comfortably on his flawless features.

"Don't tell Rosalie what we just did, please." He murmured as he tucked my hair behind my ears.

"Why?" I asked. I focused hard on breathing as I got caught in his golden gaze. Maybe one day I wouldn't have to worry about him hearing my reaction to his every gaze, every touch. But I doubted it.

"Can you imagine the state of my piano if Rosalie and _Emmett_ did what we just did on top of it?"

I smiled in satisfaction as I reveled in memories of exactly what we'd just done on top of the piano.

"Pants." He murmured. I pulled my mind out of the gutter, where it was thoroughly comfortable, and looked around frantically. I found my pants just as we heard noises outside. Edward kissed me lightly on the forehead and disappeared to field them away.

I was hopping, one leg in pants, when I heard Alice's voice call from the kitchen.

"Underwear first, _then_ pants!"

Oops.

I gave up on dressing under pressure, and instead collected my clothes and disappeared upstairs to Edward's room.

* * *

Edward opened the door a few minutes later to find me fully dressed and looking at my reflection in a picture frame.

"My hair looks like a bird's nest." I complained self consciously.

"No," he corrected, smiling. He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. "Your hair looks like you've just had sex on a piano."

I laughed.

"You look beautiful." He murmured in my ear.

* * *

"Ey batter batter batter…"

Alice's off-putting chant was blatantly ignored by Jasper as he stretched his arms out casually. The pitch, when it came, was sudden and swift. Less than a second later, the air split with a loud resounding crack. The baseball disappeared into the sky as Rosalie pelted around the bases, impossibly far apart.

Before I was aware of Edward disappearing in search, he'd returned and thrown the ball to Emmett. The ball crashed into his hand with another sound reminiscent of thunder. Rosalie stopped short. Emmett stood between her and home base, a ball in his hand and a confident smirk on his face.

Without hesitation, both of them dived. I saw both of their bodies collide at home base with another earsplitting crash. Sparks flew between their two stone bodies. They disentangled, and stood, looking to Esme for her decision.

"Out!" She declared. Rosalie groaned. Emmett high-fived Edward. They looked like teenagers out of movie. Admittedly, teenagers with breathtaking looks far beyond those of mere movie stars.

Edward darted to my side in the brief intermission as the sides swapped. His cold arms wrapped tightly around my waist from behind.

"Enjoying the game?" He asked. I nodded. His body pressed against mine caused sensations to rush through my body that prevented my ability to form words.

"Mm-hmm." I murmured incoherently. I turned in his arms and wrapped mine around his neck. I stood on tiptoe and kissed him. His stone lips molded obligingly to mine. I shivered.

Edward suddenly stiffened and stood straight, pulling away. He took up a defensive position in front of me. In seconds, I was surrounded by the Cullen family, a ring of failsafe protection. The lighthearted game faces were gone, replaced by looks of threat and danger than made me shiver, even though the looks weren't directed at me.

It took a few moments to see exactly what, or who, those looks were focused on. Three figures had just landed a few feet from me. Graceful, slender… _winged_ figures.

The Dhian had found me.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Hope you enjoyed it!

Sorry about the superly massive time gap there, I'll do my best to remedy that next time. maybe.

please please reveiw! I will make no demands, because i was slightly terdish and didn't update for ages. But please anyway?


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